These 47 tweets show how bad at flirting straight boys really are

‘So, what would you do if I was there?’

If you’re a person who fancies straight men then unfortunately you will have definitely encountered one of the following phrases whilst texting a guy: “You up?”, “without me?” and “what would you do if I was there?”.

Straight boys must learn these phrases straight out the womb because they’re engrained in their brain and always dropped within five minutes of a conversation. These are the boys who have literally no chat or they’re just after sex. Either way these conversations make you roll your eyes, do that sigh of exasperation and then proceed to laugh over their dead replies with your mates.

A Twitter user tweeted a simple statement: “Flirt like a straight man go.” And people flooded in with examples of all the ways straight men try to flirt and the specific phrases they use on repeat.

From trying to use a sad situation to get nudes to playing 20 questions, these phrases are painfully relatable and if straight men could stop doing them  that would be great.

These are the 47 best responses which prove straight men know nothing about flirting:

1. Yes definitely without you.

2. If I had a pound for every time I heard this line.

3. PSA: Liking my pics isn’t flirting.

4. Hhahaa yes it’s hilarious.

5. Wow, now I really want you.

6. Correct.

7. Yes I have seen it, it is in fact, my post.

8. We will share these with our friends and laugh.

9. For my psychology girls x

10. Does anyone still use Snapchat?

11. No.

12. Because it’s probably this.

13. Again, no.

14. An old pyjama t-shirt with pasta sauce down the front.

15. I am not your free therapist.

16. But thankfully, I’m not.

17. Never.

18. Ew, I can just hear the creeps saying this.

19. Hhahah no.

20. Um, thank you???

21. Oh, I think she does.

22. Yes that’s me.

23. Fine until you messaged me.

24. Please don’t talk about my cat and my boobs at the same time.

25. Lol a classic.

26. Yes, please leave us alone.

27. God I love this one.

28. No, what’s that?

29. In your own damn kitchen.

30. *Eye roll*

31. Thank you for telling me what to do with my face.

32. Well it ain’t gonna include you.

33. Please don’t.

34. Um, what would you like me to say to this?

35. In your dreams??

36. Stop with the coronavirus flirty one liners.


38. Usually combined with a “Can I get by?”.

39. You still have no chat on WhatsApp.

40. Oh sure I’d love to.

41. That will make me feel so much better.

42. I’m good thanks.

43. That is in my job description tbf.

44. The compliments just keep coming.

45. Because I want to?

46. Hahaha true x

47. And finally the straight man mating call.

Featured image before edits:Hannah Busing on Unsplash

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