These 47 tweets show how bad at flirting straight boys really are
‘So, what would you do if I was there?’
If you’re a person who fancies straight men then unfortunately you will have definitely encountered one of the following phrases whilst texting a guy: “You up?”, “without me?” and “what would you do if I was there?”.
Straight boys must learn these phrases straight out the womb because they’re engrained in their brain and always dropped within five minutes of a conversation. These are the boys who have literally no chat or they’re just after sex. Either way these conversations make you roll your eyes, do that sigh of exasperation and then proceed to laugh over their dead replies with your mates.
A Twitter user tweeted a simple statement: “Flirt like a straight man go.” And people flooded in with examples of all the ways straight men try to flirt and the specific phrases they use on repeat.
flirt like a straight man go
— sham (@mahsyako) June 29, 2020
From trying to use a sad situation to get nudes to playing 20 questions, these phrases are painfully relatable and if straight men could stop doing them that would be great.
These are the 47 best responses which prove straight men know nothing about flirting:
1. Yes definitely without you.
2. If I had a pound for every time I heard this line.
3. PSA: Liking my pics isn’t flirting.
__________ liked your photo. now
__________ liked your photo. 5s
__________ liked your photo. 8s
__________ liked your photo. 10s
__________ liked your photo. 14s https://t.co/lJWQs5OXZN
— D (@_dlanez) July 3, 2020
4. Hhahaa yes it’s hilarious.
5. Wow, now I really want you.
damn, no invite? https://t.co/3zlL0P65P3
— kimmie-chan 🦋 (@kmbrrrley) July 2, 2020
7. Yes I have seen it, it is in fact, my post.
*sent you your post* 😍😍 https://t.co/ERW1kdCg7V
— tatiyana j (@tiyajdoyle) July 3, 2020
8. We will share these with our friends and laugh.
*sends unsolicited dick pic* https://t.co/PtllsB4vxR
— arya stark #BLM 🧚🏻 (@madicrid) July 3, 2020
9. For my psychology girls x
Degree in Psychology? So you can like read people’s mind..tell me what I’m thinking? https://t.co/PSwMHeRsHc
— Bailey M. Perkins (@BaileyyPerkins) July 3, 2020
10. Does anyone still use Snapchat?
*snapchats you at 2am*: go to sleep https://t.co/jIpVBejl6B
— Shy (@annalynnshy) July 3, 2020
“hey can I ask you a question?” https://t.co/zx9A2POkc8
— campbell🕊 (@campbellurrutia) July 3, 2020
12. Because it’s probably this.
“wanna play 20 questions? i’ll start. do you wanna have sex?” https://t.co/uYsNQt1hba
— haley grace (@_haleygracew_) July 3, 2020
13. Again, no.
You got snap? https://t.co/wtQDw4qwTn
— Cat McKinney (@catcmckinney) July 4, 2020
14. An old pyjama t-shirt with pasta sauce down the front.
what u wearing rn https://t.co/ILHp55f3H9
— Zainab (@zaibannn) July 3, 2020
15. I am not your free therapist.
16. But thankfully, I’m not.
*20 minutes into the convo*
“I wish u were here to cuddle with me” https://t.co/meZ0I6OHbL
— ken 🌻 (@ItsSteakhousee) July 3, 2020
replied to your story: when you cookin for me? 👀 https://t.co/gT8uDVZCGm
— lil (@lilum1020) July 3, 2020
18. Ew, I can just hear the creeps saying this.
19. Hhahah no.
Booty pic? https://t.co/EC7beCgWZW
— OPEN YOUR PURSE (@clairejacksoon) July 3, 2020
20. Um, thank you???
i know you're crying in this picture but like you look really pretty https://t.co/OxJdi2k5wo
— marge (@_maggiefay_) July 2, 2020
21. Oh, I think she does.
my gf doesn’t have to know https://t.co/J2Im6dbJ5T
— mark anthony (@_markanthonyx) July 2, 2020
22. Yes that’s me.
dms you your own post with 👀 https://t.co/5COqlSm87I
— not debra (@debbyontheweb) July 2, 2020
23. Fine until you messaged me.
“How’s Lockdown treating you” https://t.co/r4jNxvYEs4
— Chelsea (@chelseajosephx) July 2, 2020
24. Please don’t talk about my cat and my boobs at the same time.
haha your cat is so cute. so how big are your boobs? https://t.co/9zCtMWjXDU
— Satan (@bscllysatan) July 3, 2020
25. Lol a classic.
26. Yes, please leave us alone.
27. God I love this one.
28. No, what’s that?
29. In your own damn kitchen.
“Where’s mine aha” https://t.co/QWK9HkzUvE
— Swanny (@eabha_swan) July 2, 2020
30. *Eye roll*
31. Thank you for telling me what to do with my face.
32. Well it ain’t gonna include you.
33. Please don’t.
34. Um, what would you like me to say to this?
35. In your dreams??
swear i seen u before
— Vic (@vicwitastick) June 29, 2020
36. Stop with the coronavirus flirty one liners.
37. THE PICTURE
Bro your ex really did that? Aha that's craaazy….. I would NEVER do that ahahaa
*5 minutes later
You like? 😘 pic.twitter.com/0vVXSeuGO3
— Ün Ün Ün (@Dumb_PeePeeHead) July 2, 2020
38. Usually combined with a “Can I get by?”.
39. You still have no chat on WhatsApp.
40. Oh sure I’d love to.
41. That will make me feel so much better.
awww I saw your story pls don’t be sad 😢… nudes?
— ʀᴀᴄʜᴇʟ ⁷ (@_hyuckace) July 3, 2020
42. I’m good thanks.
“getting in the shower want a pic😉” https://t.co/kRrKuQcaww
— jessica thompson (@zassicax) July 3, 2020
43. That is in my job description tbf.
“You’re a dancer? You must be sooo flexible”
— Cassandra (@cdechaine96) July 3, 2020
44. The compliments just keep coming.
45. Because I want to?
“Why you up” https://t.co/ckDBebvyEE
— kels (@_kelskels__) July 3, 2020
46. Hahaha true x
Ur so different, lol ur not like most girls… I really like u, but I’m still a bit hurt by my last relationship of 2 weeks that happened 5 years ago… so like I’m not really ready for a relationship atm aha.. but I mean… if ur down to link up aha, cuz ur cute as hell aha pic.twitter.com/9oVeYbIpn7
— Ash✨bIm (@Guac2BeKiddinMe) June 29, 2020
47. And finally the straight man mating call.
— sarah (@heavenbrat) June 29, 2020