I’m sure Ant and Dec would rather do a Bush Tucker Trial than ever step foot in Thekla
There’s nothing worse than leaving Gravity covered in VK residue
Love showing people my wingspan on nights out
Now I DO believe in life after love
Perhaps with all these options available, you’ll stop breaking your vegetarianism once a week
‘He told me he finished really quickly because he’d been doing No Nut November’
I’m sure five sausages, a cig and a Kronenbourg will get you through university just fine
‘I love the Queen! I love her loads!’
Why do you still wear your school PE kit everywhere?
They’re awful for you and the planet but at least they’re tasty and come in fun colours
Their playlist needs work but you can’t look past a £4 double
It looks like you’re cooking a breeze block for dinner babes