From hamsters to dildos: Here are Exeter students’ best and worst Secret Santa presents

Who doesn’t want a hamster for Christmas?


It’s officially Christmas! After surviving the end of term one that has been filled with deadlines, exams, no heating and endless trips to TP, we have all returned back home for the well-deserved Christmas break.

Over the last few weeks, there’s no doubt that you and your friends have been doing ALL of the Exeter festivities. Whether that’s going to the Exeter Christmas Markets in town, going to the Northernhay Winter Wonderland, going on a festive pub crawl or doing the classic Secret Santa.

We all want to make the last few moments with our housemates before we go away for four weeks. So, to reflect on some Exeter festivities you got up to, we asked Exeter students for their best and worst Secret Santa gifts. Some of these are questionable…

Blonde hair dye

This may seem like an innocent Secret Santa gift, but this student said “I’m ginger”…Yikes. Maybe 2025 will be your blonde era, I guess?

Clone a Willy

Is it really a Secret Santa without gifting your mate a dildo? But my question is, who’s penis was it? Do you just have your friend’s penis replica in your room now? Actually, don’t answer that question.

Out of date Quality Streets

This one made me laugh. Not only are the Quality Streets out of date and he gifted this to his girlfriend, but the chocolates were “three years out of date”. THREE years?!? Now, that’s diabolical.

Cleaning products

This one was brutal. Gifting cleaning products can be quite nice considering how expensive buying a bit of Dettol and Cillit Bang can get. But this student gifted “another housemate who never cleaned the bathroom, cleaning products”. Savage. I’m sure they will hopefully get the message now…

A pen with…

This student said she was gifted a “pen that said “overworked and underfucked” on it”. Um… okay, a bit MUCH. To make this gift even worse, she said that she was gifted this pen by the “housemate who touched her feet”. Do what you will with this information. At least you got a new pen to show off in Forum Library xx

Jesus Candle of Adam Driver

Iconic.

A guide on how to use a small penis

What makes this worse is that this gift was given to her by SOMEONE ELSE while her boyfriend was there. Bit of an indirect but also, a good laugh.

A hamster?

This is extremely rogue (and defo not allowed by the landlord). The student followed up with the hamster’s name being “Willy Wonka”. I absolutely love this. 10/10.

Nothing

This one’s got to sting a little. This student said she “didn’t get one” and that “they didn’t come in on the day” so they just got her “nothing”. That’s not very festive now, is it?