A run down of all the wake-up calls I received as a finalist at Durham

Having now started my third year at Durham, this is a run-down of eight massive wake-up calls that I received.

Spending your time chasing a good night out will never fulfil you

As much as you can try to plan for a big night out, sometimes it really isn’t worth sticking it out in Jimmy’s until close. If you don’t have the energy to withstand being shoved on the dance floor and find yourself checking the time every five minutes, please, and I cannot stress this enough, just go home. I promise you that you will not miss anything exciting. Plus, you get an extra few hours in bed. Win win.

You have so. much. time.

I’ve got to give this one to my mum. I’ve found myself recently ringing home to complain that I have no idea what my life will look like after my degree, a train of thought that can easily spiral out of control. I think you forget that, amidst all the conversation surrounding post-grad life, you are still so young, and have the rest of your life to worry about your job. As cliché as it is, the more time you spend stressing about the future, the less time you spend actually enjoying the present. As my Mum has reassured me every time I call her, stop worrying; you have so much time!

Comparison will get you absolutely nowhere in life

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A friend of a friend landed a grad scheme at Deloitte? Your coursemate found their soulmate? Your best friend is acing their degree? All of these things have one thing in common: They have absolutely nothing to do with you. So why do the actions of others affect you so personally? Looking to others for an indication of what you should be doing rarely works, and makes you feel worse in the long run.

Living costs can quickly add up

It’s a universal experience. You turn up to university for Freshers’ Week, go out every night, and blow all your money within a week. I still open my bank account every few days with bated breath, anticipating a text from my bank letting me know I have in fact entered my overdraft. I’m yet to fully master the art of budgeting, but I do know that if I’m spending too much time strolling the aisles of Market Square Tesco, or the pub for that matter, I should probably do some introspective work.

You are not special, and that is a great thing

I left school as a deputy head girl with good grades and a, as horrifying as it is to admit, a minor superiority complex. So imagine my surprise when I looked around at my peers at Durham and saw the same attitude reflected in everyone else too. I will always be grateful that I grew out of this mindset quite quickly, as it made me realise that no one is watching and judging everything I do. Truthfully, no one cares.

Time spent alone isn’t time wasted, actually

As a chronic extrovert, this is something that has taken a while to realise. In my first year of uni, other than sleeping, I genuinely don’t think there was a single moment that I spent in my own company. I always had to be spending time with other people, because otherwise I’d somehow fall behind in the unspoken competition of making “the best friends” and having “the best time”, whatever that meant. Now, however, I’ve realised that, every once in a while, I do just need some time to myself in order to restore some balance in my life. It’s scary how quickly you can lose your sense of self if you don’t make an effort to spend any time with yourself in the first place.

The Durham bubble is there to be burst

I’ve realised that, as much as I love Durham, if I don’t make an active effort to leave every once in a while, I find myself getting increasingly restless and fed up. If you’ve got friends at other universities, go visit them! If that isn’t an option for you, a trip to Newcastle or to the beach can work wonders, and can remind you that there is life outside this tiny city.

Avoiding things for fear of being cringe is a ridiculous way to live

All of my proudest achievements at university have required me to reject some niggling sense that to do so would be completely and utterly humiliating. Whether that was getting involved in student journalism and having my writing published at the beginning of my first year, or hosting my college fashion show in my second, I know I will look back on these parts of my time at university with the most fondness. I regret to think what my life at uni would look like if I was still so worried about standing out or doing something that could be construed as “being cringe”. But fortunately, I don’t care, and never will again.