My mum survived breast cancer: her story and how it impacted me as an Exeter uni student

TW: Cancer and illness

In honour of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I want to honour my mum and her experience with grade two breast cancer. As I was only eight years old at the time of her diagnosis, I didn’t have much of a reaction. It didn’t really hit me until later on in her journey. Being only eight years old, you have very little understanding of what it actually means and unaware of how unwell your parent is. 

At first, the changes were only minimal. My friend’s mum started picking us up from school and we’d go round theirs for dinner. Suddenly, my mum had a tube (known as a Groshong line) inserted into her neck. Seeing my mum turn from energetic to fatigued was very confusing to younger me. I couldn’t get my hear around the fact that my mum had cancer. This then led to questions of why my mum had cancer. My mother, the sweetest woman in the world, could never deserve something so cruel and unforgiving.

The cancer continued to take over. It was a long process – an operation, and then multiple rounds of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She never stopped smiling, even when she was struggling from the harshness of her medication. I witnessed her having an allergic reaction to the chemotherapy she was under. It was scary as there was no instant explanation for what was happening to her. 

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Amongst the chaos, there were endless nurses and consultants – each one provided full support and care for my family. In fact, it was our Macmillan family support therapist, Yvonne, that made sense of the feelings that were bubbling for me. The anger, sadness, confusion didn’t necessarily disappear, but were managed as I watched my mum get better, and stronger every day. 

Thankfully, my mum was declared cancer free a year later in 2012. I cannot express my gratitude for the staff at our local hospital enough, for their consistent efforts to care for both my mum, but also the rest of my family, at a time that is always so uncertain. 

What can you do to support a loved one going through cancer? 

It can be really difficult to know what to say or do when your loved one has cancer. Especially when every experience is unique to each individual and their diagnosis. However, make sure you are ready to be supportive with love, reassurance and positivity, no matter how tough it may seem.

Being thoughtful in your actions makes all of the difference – whether it’s cooking their favourite food, helping tidy their living space, or doing seemingly small tasks for them, it makes such a big impact. Don’t be afraid to openly communicate with the person about what they need from you – even if it is a difficult conversation, showing that you care about their needs is really important. 

Lastly, don’t be afraid to reach out to others if you are feeling impacted by their diagnosis too. You are not a burden for wanting support for yourself, you deserve to feel supported from others too. Cancer is a huge thing to process. There are numerous support networks to help you through it, such as MacMillian, the University of Exeter, leaning on friends and family. 

A reminder… 

Please listen to your body. Check yourself regularly. If something feels off, make a note of it, and keep an eye on your symptoms. If you see changes, go to your GP, or seek some medical advice.

It can be scary and overwhelming to have to visit the doctor but consider taking a friend or a family member for some added support. There is nothing they haven’t seen before, they’re not judgmental people – it’s their job, and most importantly, they want to help. It probably is nothing. But it is always better to be safe than sorry. 

If my mum hadn’t gone to her GP, her journey with cancer would have looked drastically different. I dread to think about my life if she hadn’t gone, and I’m grateful every day that she was treated as quickly as possible. 

And, to my mum, my best friend. I would be nothing, and nowhere, without you. You are the strongest woman I know. Thank you for everything.

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• Here are my top 10 favourite things as a final year Exeter Uni student
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• An A to Z of everything that will make up an Exeter student’s life