Five things that are guaranteed to happen on every Kasbah night out

For Warwick students, and freshers specifically, there is nothing more sacred than Monday nights, exclusively reserved for Kasbah outings. After experiencing these nights for the past two years, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some events that are bound to occur. So, these are five things that are guaranteed to happen on every Kasbah night out.

1.The debate between the five or 10 pound ticket

Some may argue that the most thrilling part of Kasbah nights out is the Uber or bus journey there. Giggling and singing with your friends, impatiently waiting for the night to commence. However, once your foot makes contact with the pavement, a horror unveils itself: A queue that extends to the end of Coventry. An instant dilemma: Wait an hour in the queue and pay £5 for your ticket, or pay twice the price for a slightly faster lane. You have to choose two options, between sobering up because of the wait and spending more money in the club to reach your previous level of drunkenness, or spending the £10 and regretting that decision an hour later. There is no right decision, it’s torture.

2. The fresher who drank their body weight in alcohol

At the end of your night, you are guaranteed to encounter a person in a sorry state on the exit steps. Odds are, they’re a fresher. If you are someone gifted with general empathy, you will enquire to see if this person is in need of assistance. Nine times out of 10, said person’s friends will reply with ”don’t worry, we’ve got it”. (Spoiler, they don’t have it).

3. The freebies scam

Most Read

A Love Is Blind deleted scene with Marissa and Ramses has released and it’s just sad

Revealed: The number of MAFS UK 2024 couples still together has apparently leaked

Netflix has finally revealed who pays for the Love Is Blind weddings

What differentiates Kasbah with every other Warwick night out is its special events nights. The infamous stripper night is one of them. I can recall popcorn, foam fingers, burgers, t-shirts etc… Basically, a fight to the death to see who can acquire the goods first. If, magically, you are lucky enough to survive this, you’ll no doubt be disappointed by what you receive. A t-shirt big enough to fit a four-year-old, or a stale bag of salty popcorn perhaps? Either way, it’s enough to show off in front of your friends who weren’t fortunate enough to be the chosen one.

4. The TikTokkers

Because of Kasbah’s widespread influence and infamous reputation, it has increasingly become a breeding ground for up-and-coming social media influencers. You better look your best for this club, as you may end up in a video with thousands of views and comments reading ”I would have so much hangxiety if this was me”. Now I am not speaking from experience, but I personally could not think of anything more horrifying than waking up on a Tuesday morning feeling like death and finding out that a stranger had posted a viral video interviewing me and asking me intrusive questions about my love life. Beware.

5. Finding everyone and their mum in the smoking area

One certainty about Kasbah is that there is no way you can make it through the night incognito. Whether it’s your ”situationship” or a friend of a friend you met in freshers, you can be assured that everyone you have met during your time at university will be in that smoking area. And try to avoid openers like ”Hi, how are you? I love your top”. Been there, done that my friend. You’ll leave the club a professional small-talker, and a converted introvert.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Forget the alphabet- Here’s the Warwick Uni A-Z every student should know about!
• The Tab Warwick is looking for new writers: We want you!
• We asked students for Warwick Uni stereotypes, and sadly most of them were true