Every reason indie nights will always be better than mainstream nights

Guide, Murmur

The songs have verses and choruses, for starters

I have always hated mainstream clubs, I have so many of them in my hometown and as soon as I managed to get my hands on a fake ID, I rinsed them for all they was worth. It was always a shit night, but it was the novelty of being a seventeen year old in a real club that kept me coming back every weekend. This of course meant however, that when I did turn eighteen, I had experienced everything clubbing had to offer, it couldn’t give me anything that I hadn’t already got.

This was until I discovered indie clubs, and life got good again. These magical places were able to take the best things from mainstream clubs and leave out all the shitty bits – all with decent music and cheaper drinks. These are the reasons why I feel Indie clubs will always be better than mainstream ones.

INDIE CLUB

There are no shweffs in suits, holding bottles of Grey Goose

It takes a while to fully comprehend when you first set eyes on them, a bunch of young men in Primark suits all squashed into a rectangle booth, with one of them holding a bottle of Grey Goose and all of them taking a selfie. It really does make you stop and think, is this what people are calling a good night out? It actually evokes real sadness to look over at this booth filled with boys pretty much sitting on each other, passing round a bottle of overpriced vodka purely because it’s overpriced.

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This isn’t saying that you should go out and get shit faced, but when you see these prats spending their money on alcohol that isn’t being drunk, it makes you wonder when alcohol became such a fashion accessory. The only time alcohol is a fashion accessory on me is when I spill it all over myself, and I don’t walk around flaunting the wet patch on my shirt.

The bouncers are actually decent human beings

Bouncers are a bit like bus drivers, when you’re having to deal with twats all the time, you’re bound to become one eventually. It just so happens that more twats seem to go to mainstream clubs, making pretty much every bouncer working at said clubs, absolute tosspots. I always wonder if it’s actually part of their job role to talk to the people they’re meant to be keeping safe like absolute dirt, or if they get an extra tenner for every poor sod they manhandle for no reason at all.

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This is of course, only referring to boys – mainstream club bouncers seem to transform into the most well mannered of gentlemen in the presence of females – so if you’re a girl, you probably have nothing but love for the bouncers you have encountered across your clubbing ventures.

Not everyone is there with the sole aim of pulling

Pulling is fun and exciting, especially when the night is drawing to a close and your last ounce of self respect has disappeared along with that last Jägeromb. It just becomes a little tedious when you’re surrounded by a desperate group of guys and girls who are all making it their absolute mission to get a snog.

It might start as something subtle, with them all just edging closer towards one another when they’re dancing, which leaves massive empty spaces on the dance floor – which on second thought, is the only up positive of this. It could however, be something a lot more dramatic, like a girl “accidentally” falling over into a group of boys – hoping one of them will be there to catch her. If one of these males do turn out to be just as desperate and decide to save the falling girl, she will more often than not, repay her new hero with a few minutes of tongue time, before embarking on another journey across the club to find another stranger to fall on. It’s worrying that people will actually put themselves at risk of real bodily harm just to score a pull and it’s even more worrying that it works.

KISSING IN CLUB

Mainstream clubs are freaky places.

There’s no shuffling

The poison of our generation, the disease that has swept up thousands of clubbers, the disgusting motion with your legs which makes your body move like you’re trying to walk on an ice rink. If you don’t know what shuffling is, you are a fortunate being that has obviously never stepped foot in a mainstream club before and has never seen an LMFAO music video.

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It’s a pandemic that has spread across the country in such an alarming fashion and if somehow you haven’t actually seen it in practise yet, you’ll be shocked on your first time – most likely panicking for the wellbeing of the individual, as they “shuffle” all over the floor looking like their on the verge of a seizure. You’re not limited to any sort of dancing in an Indie Club, anything goes. If you want to flail your arms above your head and do the splits, you can do so – without any fear that you’re going to trip over a near by shuffler.

The music has verses and choruses, and is more than just sounds

If you want to fully realise just how shit the music is in mainstream clubs – play this game when you next go. All you have to do is remember five songs that were played when you wake up the next morning, while this sounds easy enough – you won’t be able to. This is simply because all of the music that is played sounds so similar, that it turns into noise. It’s true that some mainstream clubs play what people would call “real bangers”, but a dubstep remix of a Pitbull song just isn’t something I feel is acceptable – it actually shouldn’t exist at all. It again evokes real sadness to think there are people who go out looking forward to listen to music like that.

MAINSTREAM

In the end, I know it does depend on preference: some people do just happen to have really, really bad music taste.

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