Why you should never, ever live in Brixton

Don’t even go there

It’s full of ugly run down buildings

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 It’s really grey and dull

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The people there are really boring

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The street art is hideous

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They have this stupid street party every year

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Everyone there dresses the same and has no style

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The nightlife is so boring

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And so are the pubs

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It’s always dead

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There’s literally nowhere to eat

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And the food is inedible

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There isn’t enough jerk chicken

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You can’t get a decent breakfast anywhere

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It’s not even cheap anymore

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There aren’t enough independent shops

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There’s no history in Brixton

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So what if Van Gough lived here too

The cinema is too big

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And the views aren’t worth opening your eyes for

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There’s no greenery or wildlife

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