Remember when being FB official was the best thing in the world

Back in year nine being Facebook official was one of the highlights of the after-school internet session. It was a move that confirmed to not just the newly taken poster but to all their friends that they weren’t alone and everyone should know about it. Single friends across the year liked it out of social support, but secretly panicked that they hadn’t even been on a date yet let alone admitted to someone else they were actually together.

Everyone will be so jealous

Being from a girls’ school the first time someone became Facebook official was a big deal. It showed they had ascended the adolescent steps into relationship world and we were all left behind talking in chav-speak on each others’ walls and wondering when we would ever make that post. Were they having sex now? Were they going to walk home from school together? Did this mean the last relationship she was in didn’t mean anything? It was done to show off, proved you were proud to no longer be available and meant people could click on cute pictures of the two of you all in one place.

It wasn’t just my close friends and family who needed to know, but everybody. It kept away potential stalkers and, conversely,made stalking someone else way easier because it saved wasting time on unavailable profiles. Oh Dave’s in a relationship, won’t bother speaking to him next time we’re in town.

‘Only me’ – check

Taking it down was also a massive slap in the virtual face. I made mine visible to ‘Only me’ after my break up, but some people were far more brutal, openly stating that Cara was single so we knew Teddy was probably drinking alone in a pub somewhere trying not to look at how he was now in a relationship with no one and Cara’s status had nearly 20 likes on it and most of the comments revolved around saying she deserved better hun x.

My relationship statuses have progressed from ‘In a relationship with’ to just ‘In a relationship’ to the shared profile pic to nothing. From school to now has been a steady decline of online association with my other halves, exactly as it should be. The social circles that matter will know anyway, and those that don’t can always ask.