I spent a week having sex in public places

Having sex in a public place of any sort is on most people’s sexual bucket lists.

It’s one of those things that only comes out in a game of never have I ever you didn’t even want to play in the first place. Now you can count the judging looks as the whole of your group chat knows about that time you did it in the freezer section of the supermarket.

The challenge: spice up the sex life by having intercourse in a different public place every day for a week.

Cinema disabled toilet

Block out the smell of piss and dodge that soggy sheet of toilet paper on the floor. Now nothing can possibly go wrong. We left the film half way through and ventured into the disabled toilet, gagging for the wild sex that was about to commence. Having wasted a good £7 by not watching the whole movie – we definitely wanted to get our money’s worth in other ways. It turns out that a toilet seat is the perfect opportunity for cowgirl.

This may not be the classiest of public places to do it in, but being classy isn’t always practical. It was pretty exhilarating, if a little unhygienic. Using a disabled toilet over your standard cubicle is definitely recommended, giving you more room for acrobatic sex positions. Try not to worry about the queue of actual disabled people forming outside the toilet. This can be a real turn off.

The scene of the crime

Park

You know a house party is bad when you leave to go bang against a tree. Trees are sturdy and fairly easy to hide behind – what more do you want? Apart from the occasional late night dog walker and risk of splinters, this is a pretty ideal spot for some romancing. And there’s definitely something thrilling about being bent over against a tree.

It’s probably best to wait until after dark for this one. And make sure you don’t leave the used condom or wrapper loitering about after either, have some respect for the environment.

 Car park

Dogging, an old family favourite. We decided to do the deed in the backseat of a car, whilst under the influence. I’d always wanted to have sex in a car so I was pretty pumped. Though I did completely underestimate how cold it is in the backseat of a car, naked, at 3am. My boyfriend’s pussy wagon soon turned into a hydraulic machine. Plenty of positions were attempted, mostly resulting in a seat belt or two digging in the hip. Top Tip: fold down a couple of seats for optimum pleasure.

In our drunken state, it turned out we managed to lock his keys in the car, The RAC man looked at us judgingly as he fished the keys out amongst some clothing buried beneath the folded down seats. A mutual friend of ours also witnessed the whole thing as he was coming back from his night shift. So I’d say this was pretty successful.

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Behind the bar

The place is closing, people are leaving, and you’re too wet for your own good. There’s only one thing to do – crawl behind that bar and get it on. Doggy was the preferred choice, so it didn’t require much effort on my part. The loud music muffled out the moaning and groaning, so we really went to town.

Whatever you’re drinking, make sure to take advantage of all the alcoholic beverages that surround you. It’s a good idea to make sure no one’s videoing too – oops.

Taxi

So there wasn’t any actual sex, but sucking off bae in the back of a taxi gives a surprising and euphoric thrill. Obviously, the taxi driver was none the wiser and it was £5 well spent. We left the bar, a few glasses of wine down and feeling frisky. This was definitely heading in the right direction.

Luckily, seven seater taxis are pretty spacious when there are only two of you. Plenty of room to kneel down and get your best BJ game on. Although the risk factor made this one pretty exciting, it’s pretty hard to give head on wheels when you’re speeding through Headington at 30mph. Not recommended for the faint hearted, or the sober.

Outdoor Gym

It starts off with him slipping you a digit on the way home and it escalates to you both ending up naked on an outdoor leg press. Strolling through the park at 2am, it suddenly dawned on me that we could do it outdoors. Pitch black in a dodgy park with nobody around, the opportune moment had arisen to do some open-air shagging (and exercising at the same time). Quote from the boyfriend: It made a great super-set. Safe to say he set a new personal best on the leg press with me on his lap.

The risk factor of being naked in a public park and the sheer amount of VK’s consumed made this one a very enjoyable experience.