How dirty are your favourite Lenton takeaways?

Pretty grim

11 years ago

Hal Chavasse | Guides

When you take a closer look at some of Nottingham’s best-loved student takeaways, their dark secrets are revealed. A scary number of these eateries have been rated 1 or even 0 out of 5 by the UK Food Standards Agency, meaning a need for urgent improvement.

Nasty stuff, but when put against the takeaways’ ratings on TripAdvisor or JustEat, the reactions of the public often tell an entirely different story.

D2 Fast Food- Ilkeston Road

When its food hygiene was tested, this popular kebab shop was given 1/5 – “Major Improvement Necessary”.

However, probably due in some part to its menu offering almost anything you could want after a night on the town – pizza, kebabs, fried chicken, burgers and more – it has been given a solid 5/6 stars on JustEat. Sadly the takeaway is unlisted on TripAdvisor.

It’s unclear what steps have been taken to improve hygiene since the recent March 2015 rating, but evidently its popularity among students is undiminished.

But is this unclean yet delicious eatery just a fluke? Definitely not.

Maryland Fried Chicken – Lower Parliament street

Maryland Chicken, offering (you guessed it) chicken in all its many forms, is an even worse story. The FSA gave it a shameful 0/5, needed urgent improvement.

And it’s evidently less popular with students, with two and a half stars on TripAdvisor. It scored well on food and value but fell down on service and atmosphere, but when reviews say things like “always dirty” and “needs a rag”, it begs the question why does the food score 3/5 stars in such grim conditions? And why are students so willing to eat filthy food? Do they care? Does it matter? No, probably.

Arco Pizza- Lenton Boulevard

Nothing new comes with a quick look into Arco Pizza’s story.

1/5 from the FSA, 4.7/6 on JustEat and an impossible range of drunk-friendly grub.

Coming in June of this year, the rating is a very recent one and the takeaway’s hygiene rating, based on how clean the building is, the safety precautions taken by the business and the handling of the food, is hardly going to improve come Freshers and beyond.

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The White Horse Cafe- Ilkeston Road

Things take a step towards something resembling cleanliness with The White Horse Cafe and its FSA rating of 3/5. And surely cleaner surroundings should mean better food?

Yet this cafe has pretty average ratings. 3.8/6 on JustEat, significantly less than the filthy cesspits of Arco or D2, and a fairly normal 3.5/5 on TripAdvisor, the food being described as “okay” and “average at best”.

So if 3/5 doesn’t cut it, what about 4?

Trent Kebabs

Trent Kebabs must be some sort of miracle. A place where health inspectors and drunk students can coexist in peaceful harmony. A “Good” 4/5 hygiene rating and a positive rating of 4.8/6 on JustEat. Who’d have thought it?

The last hygiene inspection was almost two years ago so in theory it might have become a right doghole in the meantime but, given the benefit of the doubt, Trent Kebabs seem to be Nottingham’s classiest place for the greasy end to a night out.

Fanoose – Lenton Blvd

For the final takeaway on the list, let’s finish where we started with some grim, average kebabs. The only two reviews to be found on the internet for Fanoose come from Yelp, with one describing them as the “Best kebabs in Nottingham”, while the other two-star review dismisses them as “not well spiced”.

The February rating hasn’t given them much time to clean up their act and to be honest, they won’t have, but like all of these takeaways, Fanoose seems to have its detractors and die-hard fans. Best to try them all to find your own perfect greasy neon haven.