All the freshers are freaking out about their accommodation offers

They’ve received their results, they’ve accepted their places. And now the pre-freshers of Liverpool are being sent their accommodation offers.

Freshers 1, accommodation office 0

https://twitter.com/matty_mullin/status/633260161034006528

This isn’t meant to happen. You aren’t meant to be happy about your accommodation. Cancel the offer. Wipe those cheeky emojis off his face. Send him to Rankin.

Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen

https://twitter.com/_InBetweenDays_/status/633167215529979904

Welcome to the University of Liverpool, Nick. Get used to it. This university plays games and today that game is treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen. I bet you’re more excited to come now, aren’t you Nick? I bet you’re #buzzin4birds and #gettingonthelash.

Carnatic or cattery?

https://twitter.com/CaraTurkas/status/633225239867072512

To be honest, we probably wouldn’t send our cats here either. Greenbank are still waiting for their scratching posts.

Fucking fuming already

Fucking fuming with Liverpool uni!! Supposed to get preference over halls yet we all get accommodation we've not applied for!!! #fuming

— Meg Richards (@MegT1D) August 17, 2015

She ain’t fucking kidding guys, she’s fucking angry. #fuming #angry #furious #getthisgirlaglassofwater #shesnotacat

The Carnatic brothel

@livgmatthews lady mountford fucking house

— Lauren (@laujayglo) August 17, 2015

Welcome to the new student experience: The Lady Mountford Brothel. Please bring your own rubbers. Or is it more of a recreational humping hotel?

Orgies on order

did I ask for lady mountford? no.
am I stuck with lady mountford? yes.
fuck u liverpool

— Brad (@sassybradderss) August 17, 2015

Beautiful halls with no walls

@greenbankhalls I've heard rumours that greenbacks been knocked down and I've had an accommodation offer for greenback and have accepted!

— Chelsey Thorn (@ChelseyNCT) August 17, 2015

You should bring tents, stoves and sleeping bags to welcome week. All will be explained in your welcome talk.

P.S. You’re still paying full price.

She’s in-tents

https://twitter.com/ashabirlyy/status/633248349798428672

Ah, this one got the Greenbank memo early. Liverpool accommodation office don’t normally do early –– there’s a reason 100 freshers were stuck in temporary accommodation for over two months last year.

Most Read

I went on a night out with Bonnie Blue – it was uncomfortable and she’s dead behind the eyes

Bonnie Blue’s video birthday messages to 16-year-olds are the final nail in the coffin

Meet OnlyFans’ gay ‘golden boy’ Ashton, and the thirsty clip that’s earned him 33 MILLION views

Sounds fun, if you ask me

@livgmatthews @laujayglo in Carnatic they tie a bottle of wine to each of your hands and make you drink them both before you reach town😷

— Caoimhe (@CaoimheTurner) August 17, 2015

Yep. It’s true. 100 per cent. This happens. All the time. 24/7.  It’s not even just nights out. It’s whenever you get the bus. Hello ECON123 lecture on a Tuesday morning, complete with two litres of chardonnay to down. You are never not drunk at the University of Liverpool. Fact.

Always drunk

Free exercise facilities

It's a 1hour 10 minute walk from my halls to uni hahahahah fuck my life

— Olivia (@livgmatthews) August 17, 2015

That’s one hour 10 minutes of exercise you wouldn’t have if you’d got Crown Place, Olivia. Let’s fight that fresher’s fat. No need for a gym membership when you can walk from Wavertree to Campus. Or you could just get the bus.

Smug girl

https://twitter.com/josephinehardy_/status/633190475902664704

Jesus, that’s not the way to make friends. She thinks she’s got it all now, but come November, she’ll be longing for shared bathrooms, naked runs to the shower and the powerful friendships carved out in Carnatic, thanks to hearing your neighbour reach orgasm and weeing on other people’s vomit.

You can’t see this beautiful site in a studio flat, can you?

Small beds mean better sex

Got my accommodation at @LivUni crown place double yayayayayay now I'm gonna be able to stretch out in bed 😀 happpy

— Olivia Smith (@Olive_Smith_5) August 17, 2015

But wouldn’t you rather share a smaller-than-single-size bed? True love blossoms when you sleep squashed between his armpit and the wall, on a mattress the size of the Jack/Rose Titanic slab of wood. Bonus points if his armpit hair is tickling your nostrils.

Come and share his single bed

“I’ll never let go, Jack, I promise.” No, you won’t, thanks to the chronic back pain and cramps caused by the awkward position you both end up sleeping in. At least it’s character building. And warm.

Attitude, young lady

don't even wanna go to Liverpool uni now they've offered me the worst accommodation

— grace ✨ (@grace_jennings_) August 17, 2015

We don’t even want you any more with that attitude.

It’s basically the same…

https://twitter.com/fayeworth/status/633229470690902016

That’s the same. Stop complaining. You still get a bed and a loo plus now someone is making your food for you. What more do you want? A jacuzzi?

Finally, a solid young man

https://twitter.com/tomfielderr/status/633282867200659456

That’s the attitude. Your mother would be proud. Well done Tom. You get our vote as best pre-fresher 2015.