How to dump your other half, according to a relationship expert

I just think we should see other people

10 years ago

Christmas is the time for coming together with your friends and family but also for breaking up.

The two weeks before Christmas are statistically is the most likely time of the year you’ll break up.

But it’s not fair to Instagram a “we’re finished” cake or Snapchat an “it’s not you, it’s me” dick pic — you have to do it properly.

We spoke to professional relationship counsellor Christine Northam who explained how to end it in the best way possible.

Christine says: “The best thing to do is sit down with your boyfriend or girlfriend and be as kind as you can.

“Think about your script beforehand and be honest. Try to be as empathic as possible.

“Don’t do it by text or by email or by phone. Don’t be scared, be confident.

“To do it, go somewhere you’ve been in the past, somewhere private. It should be peaceful and shouldn’t have anyone interfering and putting you off.”

Christine adds you shouldn’t gossip with too many of your mates before you dump your unsuspecting other half.

She says: “Don’t speak to anyone else first in case your partner ends up hearing about it.

“Talk to close friends or family for support if you need, make sure they’re discreet.

“But imagine how you would feel if you heard though a friend of a friend.”

If you’re breaking up because one of you has been cheating, Christine advises to use your discretion to explain your love-rattiness.

She warns: “You don’t want to hurt someone, so be honest but don’t explain every detail of your affair, even if they want it.

“Try saying, ‘I don’t want to go behind your back, I think you deserve more’.”

“If they get emotional or start to cry, be kind, sit there and stick to the lines you have ready.”

Christine advises: “Think twice before you take naked pictures anyway.

“If you’ve been dumped you might be angry, behave badly and circulate intimate pictures of your ex.

“You don’t want to make yourself vulnerable, so do this in the most honourable way: ask for those pictures back or ask for them to be deleted.

“Avoid doing it on important days like Christmas, Valentine’s Day and their birthday.

“After your break up, send an email or a text to say you hope they feel OK.”

She adds: “Above all, be honest and be confident. Your boyfriend or girlfriend might be upset at first but will respect you if you’re being honest.”

Relate is a charity who give free advice on family and relationships.