‘Palcohol’: Powdered alcohol may be heading to the UK…but please don’t snort it, its maker warns

New flavoured alcoholic substance ‘Palcohol’ could be available to buy this Autumn

First it was giant rats invading our shores, now it’s booze you can snort. A new powdered alcohol, aptly titled Palcohol, is set to be sold in the UK.

Ever wished for something better when you’re strawpedoing WKD and drinking your weight in cider to get pissed? Something easier, more compact and if possible not wildly illegal?

Good, because powdered alcohol exists, and it looks fucking amazing.

Fuck you, I don’t need you anymore.

The concept of powdered alcohol, or ‘Palcohol’ is fairly simple: it’s basically powder + water = booze. And could be available in the UK as soon as this August.

Palcohol was developed by Mark Phillips, described on the website as an “active guy” who enjoys many activites that “don’t lend themselves to lugging heavy bottles of wine, beer or spirits”.

Many have surely felt the pain of a long trek to a campsite carrying your own bodyweight in vodka and as many beer bottles you can stuff in a rucksack.

After a brief u-turn with US Law, where a patent was granted for the legal sale of alcohol before quickly being revoked, the future of FDA approved Palcohol remains optimistic.

Apparently approval was halted thanks to hefty amounts of the substance per bag. Palcohol is positive that once they re-submit labels it will become widely available and popular in the US.

And if it is granted legal sale in the US it seems that it will be only a matter of time before it comes to the UK. The website boasts that “It will be available in the US and abroad and it can also be bought online”.

Massive pre-drinks could be a thing of the past now Palcohol is coming

Mark Phillips aims to fix the problem forever by creating a powder that is “light and compact, so it wouldn’t be a burden to carry”. Thanks Mark.

Boasting the cheerful slogan “Take your pal with you wherever you go!” Palcohol aims to be a family friendly way to get fucked up, having changed their old website from the old verbiage which was, according to Palcohol “a bit edgy”. Ooh.

But straight snorting isn’t strictly recommended – water should be added to the powder to enjoy an adult squash.

As well as the standard Palcohol versions of V (vodka) and R (rum), to be sold in a pouch, there are also four cocktail versions available – mojito, lemon drop, cosmopolitan and the sharply titled ‘Powderita’ which according to Palcohol’s website “tastes just like a margarita”.

Prefer a quick snack to a cocktail? Palcohol caters to that too. While their website emphasises that the powdered mix adds no flavour to dishes, it does “give a kick” to their recommended recipes of Powderita with guacamole and Cosmopolitan salad. Yum.

And it’s slimming too, with just 80 calories per bag. And it’s gluten-free. Which technically makes it healthy … right?

Understandably, the hassle of cooking up a Palcohol dish or cocktail is too much for some people  – and they’re going straight to snorting the substance. The Palcohol website calls these guys (ie. everyone) “goofballs”.

Facebook is pretty excited about Palcohol already

Warning against the practice, Palcohol say:

“To take precautions against this action, we’ve added volume to the powder so it would take more than a half of a cup of powder to get the equivalent of one drink up your nose. You would feel a lot of pain for very little gain. Just use it the right way.” Spoil-sports.

If you want to take Palcohol’s anti-snorting advice, some other ideas to enjoy it include:

  • eyeball palcohol
  • rubbing palcohol on your gums
  • bomb wrap palcohol
  • sprinkling palcohol on your cornflakes (a healthy breakfast)

While the idea is undoubtedly ingenious, it will inevitably lead to awkward accusations if you do decide to take a small bag of white powder with you everywhere you go.