My Movember – Week 4

As I enter the final week of Movember, I can’t help but reflect on the lessons I have learnt from growing a goatee: depending on the style, facial hair can determine your future either as a dictator or a comedian, goateed hipsters are living the high life and a goatee seems to be the most effective way of avoiding harassment from Kenny Kids.

A 4-week goatee in all its glory

This was the week when my dad and granddad finally saw my goatee up close and personal. My dad, ever-supportive, said that it actually quite suited me but I think he was just trying to be nice. My granddad, on the other hand, asked me why I had a wire brush on my face.

Despite this mocking, I have actually started to become quite attached to my facial hair and it is going to be tough to say goodbye to the little fella. Sure we’ve had our ups and downs: it seems intent on acting like a sponge for beer froth, and the amount of attention it required during the itchy phase was obscene. But still, it’s been fun to test the limits of my facial hair’s abilities.

I have watched it grow from a young buck, unsure of what the world had to offer, into a majestic stallion of a goatee, flouting its wonder to anyone who cares to glance its way. And so I can only assume that shaving it off will leave me a shadow of my former self.

Week 1’s progress … Look how far we’ve come

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But don’t worry little goatee, although this is goodbye for now, it doesn’t have to be goodbye forever. Who knows what the future will hold. If I ever plan on pursuing a career in comedy, then it’s reassuring to know that you will forever be on standby, ready to elevate me from a low level chuckle brother impersonator to full blown comedy legend.

I’ve lived the life of a comedian, a hipster and now the kind of person who grows a goatee as a fashion choice (a weirdo) but I think I have gotten as much out of my time as a cultivator of goatee as I can, and it will soon be time to turn my back on that lifestyle.

Although I’ll be sad to see it go, I will be glad to stop looking like such a fucking weirdo when I finally rid myself of this facial turf.

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