Disney Edinburghers
Which one are you?
The Macho Jock: Gaston – The Beauty and The Beast
Common characteristics: follows a ridiculous bodybuilding diet, uses athletic prowess to try and attract women, outrageously arrogant, loves to bev.
“God, I’m amazing”
The Fourth Floor Fitty: Snow White
Common characteristics: always looks flawless, surrounded by fawning men, lives in Newtown because they can’t handle the big scary trees of the Meadows
“Nature?!?”
The Guy in Opal VIP: Captain Ratcliffe – Pocahontas
Common characteristics: flashing cash at the bar, ostentatiously dressed, has hundreds of promoter minions to get him more money, really quite ugly
“Grey Goose for EVERYBODY!”
The Spoilt Brat: Charlotte La Bouff – The Princess and The Frog
Common characteristics: dresses in all the latest fashions, mummy and daddy fund them through uni, only wants to date people whose degrees will give them a highly paid job (see ya later Sports Science)
“What does your daddy do?”
The Gap Yah-er: Jane – Tarzan
Common characteristics: goes to Africa in their summers to teach English, takes loads of instagrams of their travels, exceptionally posh, has a foreign boyfriend, think they’re roughing it but still have their MacBook, china tea-set and grandfather clock
“I am just so AWARE”
The International Student: Kusko – The Emperor’s New Groove
Common characteristics: lives in Quartermile, is either nobility or royalty in their home country, mixing with the ‘peasants’ of Edinburgh disgusts them
“My staff should be doing this”
The English Geek – Belle
Common characteristics: always reads more than required for seminars, hair is always up, calls Edinburgh rain ‘pathetic fallacy’, bums the fact there is a castle… “It’s soooo Mysteries of Udolpho”
“No time for fashion, my smock is more comfortable for reading”
The Layabout – Sleeping Beauty
Common characteristics: sleeps through uni, never changes out of their clothes, when they leave to do the flat food shop they end up chilling on the Meadows instead
“Can I bum a smoke, Owl?”
The Student You Will Never Meet: Bert – Mary Poppins
Common characteristics: does all the chalk drawings on the roads around uni, gets high and thinks he’s in another world/walking on the roof/having tea parties on the ceiling
“You don’t know me”
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