All hail Hamish

Forget Ross and Hill, Hamish should have won the election. Here’s why:

1) He’s fluffy. His enormous ginger coat and fluffy exterior make him the cutest element of St Andrews. Hamish is always at the hairdresser and takes pride in his look. He takes care of himself, which would therefore make him an excellent president. Let’s face it, who wants an unattractive president? Other candidates could learn a thing or two by taking their appearances more seriously and sporting bouffants a la Hamish. 

2) He frequents chic establishments. Hamish is always where the action is. From Dynamic Hair to Pagan and Osbourne, Hamish knows the place to be. It’s essential for presidents to know where their people are in order to mingle with the hoi polloi. Enthusiasm is a valued leadership trait and Hamish has this in spades.

3) He naps often. How else should we judge our student president other than by the amount of time they spend asleep? While most candidates brag about their skills and exaggerate their interest in extracurricular activities, Hamish is more honest about his pastimes. Honesty is a necessary quality in any good leader. Since nothing is actually done by Association President, Hamish is a clear frontrunner (he does spend most of his days dozing off in town, after all).

4) He spends time at charity shops. From photographs of this caring cat at Oxfam and Save the Children, everyone can see that Hamish cares about the less fortunate. He’s a good guy, and we need a good guy running the show.

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5) He’s accessible. Presidents always need to stay in touch. He lets us pick him up on the pavement and he’ll never turn down an invitation to come in for a cup of milk. Hamish is the everyman we want for Association President.

6) He’s a celebrity. With nearly 3000 Facebook friends and a book deal, Hamish is the cat to know. Kate and Wills don’t hold a candle to Hamish, and neither did the other candidates. We can all learn a lot from this Big Cat on Campus (BCOC). Notably, how to strut your stuff in front of a camera. To all President aspirers: if you’re ever in doubt about your public image, just pick up a copy of Hamish McHamish: Cool Cat About Town.

It’s clear that Hamish is the cat for the job. Unfortunately, elections have closed and we now have another president-elect. When voting comes around next time, though, vote Hamish McHamish.

Headline image courtesy of facebook.com/hamish