We’re only, not lonely: Why growing up an only child is actually the best

It’s not uncommon for people to grow up with siblings, and each family dynamic is different when adapting to more or less people in the house. Siblings can create invaluable bonding experiences, all from sharing clothes and a room – it’s almost impossible to not love your other blood-related half.

However, while it’s nice to have someone keep you company and to share secrets with, it can also make it easier to lean on one another when you’re in need and can take away a chance to learn to become independent on your own. Company is a beautiful thing, but not all children have the pleasure of growing up with it, hence the term ‘only child’ is born.

While a traditional stereotype is that only children tend to be spoiled and self-centered brats, it can actually increase one’s confidence and social skills.

Are you one of them? If so, you’re actually pretty well off.

Sans company, you can make a pretty fun run at life yourself

No sibling to go out with right away? It’s time to be self-sufficient. This opens new doors for finding a personal passion or hobby that makes you happy while gaining confidence while doing something of your own that you enjoy.

If you’re worried that this logic sounds self centered, psychologist Carl Pickhardt believes otherwise: “You’ve been given more attention and nurturing to develop yourself. But that’s not the same thing as being selfish.

“On balance, that level of parental involvement is a good thing. All that attention is the energy for your self-esteem and achievement.”

You take things personally but learn it isn’t always about you

When you’re the only child in the house, it makes sense that if someone is mad, you think it’s at you (even if it actually isn’t).

When you’re the only one of your age the adult figures get to interact within your house, blame isn’t always explicitly assigned, rather assumed. Since there’s no one before or after you, it’s easy to take on the role. Don’t.

It’s a good exercise to know when to stay out of things that you do and don’t belong in.

Mistakes will be mistakes

We all make them, and being held accountable makes it easier to learn from them. Taking ownership is a skill that extends far beyond the childhood years. The more encounters you have with mistakes the more you learn it isn’t always your fault.

Being solo in your age group can make for a steep learning curve, but can also see that mistakes are made to be done by humans. Deep breath, you’ll thank your older self later. Peace out stress, maturity wins.

Parents are the ultimate example of life skills

Part of gaining independence is being surrounded by the people who teach us the most. According to psychologytoday, Dr. Carl Pickhardt states that only children have “unrivalled access to parents and everything they provide.” The more they sit down with their child, the more conscious they become when interacting with others.

Yes, having someone to keep you company is a convenience, but the individualized time spent with parents makes it valuable later on.

Personal Space is important, and teaches the importance of boundaries

Boundaries are important and respecting other people’s spaces can be hard to grasp. However, growing up with a need for a ‘personal bubble’ helps sets the standard that people have personal preferences as to how they get along.

It’s easier when coming from the same situation, as feeling “socially self-conscious, and value privacy, from growing up being the sole focus of unrelenting parental scrutiny.”

Overall the independence of growing up as the only one in your age group can help build confidence as well as social skills. While it may be different than those lives of your friends, you can learn just as much and become independent at an early age. Who’s to say we can’t get a lot done?