My first boyfriend turned out to be my sugar daddy
He gave me $100 every Friday
We already know Rutgers students aren’t new to the whole sugar daddy/sugar baby scene. I just didn’t know that I was part of it. I met him through Grindr, a gay dating app similar to Tinder. It was a typical first date, and he liked me enough to go on a few more dates. Everything seemed so typical, which is why I didn’t suspect anything. Besides the casual dating scenes that I enjoyed with him, nothing seemed out of the ordinary because:
- He wasn’t old. Sugar relationships are known to have large age gaps. He was 27, and I was 19.
- He never expected me to do anything sexual with him, which contrasts the sexual vibe of a sugar relationship.
- I had never been in a relationship before. I didn’t have anything to compare it to.
The last reason was probably the biggest reason why I didn’t know he was treating me as a sugar baby. I knew what a sugar daddy was and what they do, but never in my dreams did I think I would get one. Couple this with the fact that I had absolutely nothing to compare what an ordinary relationship was, the naivety increases exponentially. In retrospect, as the memories come back, there were instances that hit me now and make me think, “Why did I not think that was odd?” Some experiences included:
- Him giving me 200 dollars after we watched a movie together.
- Buying me a fur scarf when it was HIS birthday.
- Offering to take me on a cruise over spring break with a group of men one generation older than me.
- Giving me an allowance of 100 dollars every Friday.
In all seriousness, I thought these things were just normal in a relationship. I didn’t have any other experiences to compare it to, so I thought boyfriends just give you cash. Three months later, he told me that he had met someone else, and I’ll be honest, after getting money for doing absolutely nothing for one semester, emotional attachment dies. I wasn’t upset with the relationship ending, just over the fact that I wouldn’t be getting gifts and an allowance anymore. It was a clean, easy conversation… until he explained to me that I was his sugar baby. This was a while ago, so I don’t remember the words verbatim, but it went something along the lines of, “You’re cute enough to be a sugar baby; I have a thing for Asians. But, if you’re looking for a new sugar daddy, don’t expect them to be as nice as me. Be careful, please. You’re a sweet kid.”
I don’t know if you’ve ever been shocked to the point where nothing comes out of your mouth, but that was my first time. I couldn’t say anything. I wasn’t angry. The pure hilarity of the situation pulled my emotions in so many directions; I didn’t know whether to laugh or punch him. In the end, I told him that I never knew this was the status of the relationship, and apparently that was what he liked about me. The purity of the relationship from my naive perspective made him feel less creepy. We hugged goodbye and I gave him a kiss on his beard. I cut off contact with him after his new sugar baby decided to cyber stalk me, and even that was funny to me. There’s a certain sense of satisfaction knowing your ex is dating a psycho, while you’re the sane (and incredibly naive) one.
Off note: I have to say, I used to think sugar daddies were creeps. Turns out, they’re just lonely men who have a savior’s complex. They love feeling needed and the satisfaction of being a hero to a helpless, young person. While the general age gaps are a bit much for me, sugar daddies are, all in all… not so bad.