Is it just me or does literally every guy take the stairs two at a time? An investigation
Pay attention next time you climb the stairs
I know this sounds crazy, but I've noticed something strange while walking on a college campus: every single male I get behind on the stairs takes the steps two at a time.
Regardless the staircase, guys will stretch their legs as far as it takes to skip a step in between. Why do they do this? No one knows because no one can really explain how the male mind works, not even a man himself.
But I was super curious as to why this phenomenon occurs — so I decided to launch a full-scale investigation. As it turns out, I'm not the only person who has noticed this habit.
Why do guys take stairs two at a time????
— ?Hikikomori ? (@HairyOtterPhan) October 24, 2017
@ boys who take the stairs two at a time: what do you have to prove???
— jess ❄️?️? (@thecrystaljems) October 13, 2017
While we can't say definitively that all men do this, the good people of the Internet agree with my hypothesis and have even tried to figure out what causes men to take on the task of scaling staircases two by two.
Is there a reason or is it just instinctive? What drives men to jump from stair to stair on their upward journey? We may never know for certain, but there are a couple solid theories out there.
Theory one: It's a sign of masculinity
I think this is a likely explanation. Stair-hopping is a way for men to show off their strength and showcase their athletic abilities. This point is further proven by the domino effect it has on the surrounding men in the area.
A pack of men will always follow the leader. If one guy takes a whole flight of stairs in three strides, all his bros have to follow suit — it's a law.
Why do guys always take stairs two at a time? Like do that think taking two stairs at once shows their masculinity??
— ♡ Brittany ♡ (@lacybrittany12) September 18, 2017
Why do boys take two stairs at a time like are you trying to prove your masculinity or something
— Gabi Ius✨ (@littleius) September 7, 2017
Is it a rule that all guys that wear muscle tanks have to take two stairs at a time?
— Kenny ? (@stackedwoolongs) October 22, 2017
Maybe they think it's a way to showcase their nice calf muscles? Or maybe they could be trying to show potential mating partners how impressive their stamina is. Or they could be practicing lunges.
Either way, cue the testosterone.
Theory two: They do it to impress the ladies
Along the lines of mating behavior, maybe it's a way to get the attention of the people around them. You definitely draw attention to yourself when you awkwardly bounce up the staircase in skinny jeans — and maybe that's the whole point.
My go-to method to impress girls is to take the stairs two at a time. I only get muscle cramps 33.3% of the time.
— Andy Zhang (@mister_a2z) November 11, 2017
Theory three: They're just always in a hurry
This theory holds the least weight in my opinion because, and let's be honest here, they usually end up arriving late anyways. But then again maybe that's why they're rushing? Who knows.
Why do all men walk up stairs 2-3 at a time? You’re not saving that much time bro chill out
— hannah (@tfwhannah) November 7, 2017
We asked some guys if they found themselves taking the stairs this way and why. Patrick, a college senior said, "It depends. If I'm feeling great that day I might take the stairs two at a time."
Whether it's to show-off or to get some exercise, the Internet agrees this is a pattern for men everywhere. We're calling guys out, we want answers for your strange behavior! And while we're not saying we fully understand the male psyche, it's nice to have a little insight.
If you aren't convinced, pay attention next time you're behind a man on the stairs. Now that you've read this, you'll notice it everywhere.