What you learn if you only use American Sign Language for a day

Silence is an all too familiar language among thousands of people around the world. American Sign Language (ASL) applies the same parameters to trying to converse with someone in a foreign language, but instead of speaking out loud you use your hands.

The facial expressions and varied grammar (also known as gloss) are unique parts of it.

Since becoming certified bilingual in American Sign Language as a second language at the conclusion of my senior year of high school, I became curious about what it would be like to put myself in the shoes of someone deaf or hard of hearing for a day. I decided to only use my hands and notepads as forms of communication.

Here’s what happened:

The silent struggle

My day began around 7:45 am when my mom awoke me for our normal weekend walk. However, instead of saying hello the moment I got up, I remained quiet. I had to get into character rather quickly, which included recovering from the fact that I wasn’t able wasn’t to speak out loud. Instead of moving my mouth, I turned to lip syncing if the language barrier became too much of an obstacle.

My mom was the only one who was aware that this was taking place, and once she saw I wasn’t responding, she replied “No problem. I can figure it out from here and help write things down if necessary.” Groggily my hands started moving in a signing motion. I signed a quick ‘HELLO’ before she headed off to get ready and when I was to head to the bathroom. I just looked at myself in the mirror wondering how I was going to pull this off; how was I to try and blend in when my native language was taken away from me in a way? Nevertheless, I kept going.

From there I began my journey, starting with a Starbucks run with my mom before we set out for our walk. While my mom was ordering I attempted to try to sign along in the background, hence trying to be part of the conversation. For instance, the store was out of peppermint syrup, and my mom asked me if I still wanted my drink or if I wanted to skip it. I just nodded with a simple sign of ‘NONE FINE’ and went to go find a seat. There was a feeling of stares behind my back while I was struggling to communicate, despite my mom trying to convey my feelings to the best of her abilities.

After a while my mom went out to retrieve something from the car, leaving me to collect our drinks. However, what I thought was a simple grab and go turned into an accidental mix up and thanks to the help of a little mouthing of the words and some hand gestures, the barista and I figured it out. While it was difficult, at least I still had the lip reading mechanism available, something I found myself using a lot of.

I continued to do more of the same on the way up to our walk, even though it was mostly silent because my mom couldn’t watch my signing while she was driving. However, once we got walking she let me go so I could start running. My mom tends to know the basic signs such as ‘THANK YOU’ so she knew I knew what she was trying to do for me.

While I was jogging I also found myself signing to myself along with various songs on my phone. As I continued on my path a carefully looked around to see if anyone was watching (which turns out no one was), unless they said good morning to me in which I would sign it back to them. Once the walk ended I couldn’t help but feel a little lonely – there was no one to communicate with. How do these people feel on a daily basis?

Putting on a show

Upon finishing some time to myself, my mom and I hit the grocery store. Since we would be seeing our friends who happen to be employees there, my mom discretely told them what was going on so they wouldn’t be freaked out. I occasionally went on my phone to a website called Signing Savvy to look up words I didn’t know, which also helped me expand my signing vocabulary.

I kept going on with it, and as I got deeper into the store, the more understanding the employees became. They asked me to sign for them a few things, and seemed genuinely interested in the language itself. Wouldn’t it be nice if all of this population could be like that?

Feeling like an animal

However, our trip didn’t stop there. I went into yet another grocery store to gather some more items for lunch, but instead it was a store in which I was not familiar with anyone. I was feeling insecure. and unsure of how to handle myself.

Even when I tried to sign ‘EXCUSE ME’ no one bothered to look, just moved aside since they saw me coming. I quietly slipped around, feeling small; this was of the first times in my life that I was ignored. Perhaps one of the more frustrating things is that the people could have seen me but decided not to deal with me since I wasn’t speaking. I felt like a caged animal in a zoo that no one wanted to see.

Was it just because I was different?

Long lines and coin change

I was determined to keep going, so I went into a Home Goods store to see what I could do in there. Just like I had the previous two times, I walked in with my head down, knowing no one was probably going to pay attention to me. The most I got was a smile from an employee when he pushed the cart away in which he said thank you and I signed ‘YOU’RE WELCOME.’

Once it was time for me to get in line I just stood there yet again until it was my turn in which the lady just talked to herself while she rang me up. I just smiled and nodded, being careful with my signing since she was older. The one thing I did appreciate though was when she went slow on counting my change since she could tell I was having trouble keeping up.

I signed yet again, but this time was met with a smile. Bonus!

The rest of the day was filled with relaxing and for a while I felt compelled to sit in my bed and bury myself under my pillow when I wasn’t with my mom. I felt isolated, just like the community that I was trying to understand at a deeper level. I eventually gained the courage to head out and meet my friend from high school. She had seen me sign before, and one of her sisters is currently learning it as well. While her sister wasn’t there and the notepad became a little tedious, I finally broke and spoke softly. However after a few minutes I had to stop myself and remind myself of what I was trying to accomplish. I, just like the community I had learned about, was not about to give up.

As the day wound down, I continued to sign for my mom, who told me that she enjoyed watching me. It also gave me time to reflect on the fact that it seems as if we take for granted the abilities that we posses, such as be able to communicate with multiple people on a daily basis with a reasonable amount of comfort. Going out into the public eye without the certainty of being able to converse with others shook my confidence a little bit, and was something that I haven’t really stopped to think about with others.

I came into this thinking that I thought I had gained some insight about this lifestyle from my ASL classes, but it didn’t really hit home for me until I experienced it myself. Above all, it changed my mindset about my future interactions with the deaf: don’t be afraid to say hi.

Even though it may seem scary at first, just making an effort can lighten the mood.