Every kind of human you will meet at the gym

As a self proclaimed gym-rat, I know that all kinds of people find the time to hit the gym, but some for very different reasons than others: they want to look good, they love exercise and actually go every day, they want to balance out all of those cupcakes and gelato pints they ate last night . . . and the list goes on.

It turns out more people frequent the gym than I originally thought, but in my past few months I have noticed some repeat offenders.

The ‘social media fitness freak’

This guy takes more selfies than he lift weights, and the mirror in the middle of the gym is his happy place. He is flexing, taking his shirt off, and posing in front of the mirror while taking pics and videos for snapchat and Instagram.

A couple hours later he will upload this photo onto Instagram along with another photo of his super-protein-after-workout meal.

Hashtags will include: #fitness #healthy #muscles #gains

The ‘newly motivated’ person

It’s her second time at the gym, and she is pumped and ready to go – maybe even a bit too eager to try out all of the new and exciting machines. Please don’t break those, we need them.

Two different kind of ellipticals? Let’s try them both! She has a smile on her face and tells everyone about the workout class she will attend in 30 minutes: “Literally soooooo excited, can’t wait!!!!”

The ‘I go every day for at least 3 hours’ kind of guy

. . . And he will make sure you know.

His dress code? Tank-tops and a blender bottle, because no protein – no gain, right? A quick workout session here and there? Not for him. When he goes to the gym, he will be there for a couple of hours.

Of course he could finish his sessions much more quickly, but that might mean not being seen and admired by all. He must monopolize every machine for as long as humanly possible.

He takes stares as a compliment, so just keep looking at him and maybe he will move?

The ‘I only come with three other friends’ one

If chatting counted as a workout, they would be the fittest person on the planet.

They use the gym as a place to socialize while lifting some baby weights or walking on the treadmill. Afterwards, you will most likely find them at the cocktail bar two streets away where they will be celebrating their workout achievements.

The ‘I’m actually too pretty for this’ girl

Her make-up looks better than mine does when I go out. Was she actually planning on coming to the gym? Did she show up here accidentally? So many questions. This is not the party you meant to go to.

But that’s not all. Her outfit is on point as well. The shirt is matching the shoes and the water bottle and the pants. Her motto is “I don’t sweat, I glow.”

The ‘not so average grandpa’

He is toned and uses (almost) more weights than you do.

After his retirement he has plenty of time for the gym, and you can tell. If he asks you to guess his age, choose a number not too high and you will make his day. Trust me – you will forever be his darling.

The ‘forever on the treadmill’ one

You enter the gym, she is running. You leave it, she is still running. 20 miles on the treadmill? No problem for that person – cardio is life. Lifting weights? Not so much.

If you love people watching (or working out, whatever), the gym is the place for you. With characters like this, who could ever be bored?