Every thought you have during your first 5k
Why did I pay to do this?
Running is one my biggest enemies. Just the thought of running for fun at a distance, makes my legs shake and my heart pound. Let’s not mention the fact that my friends like to point out that I run with my arms flailing in the air like a seagull with broken wings. But I ignored all that and decided to sign up for a 5k this weekend in Pittsburgh. Despite the beautiful views of the city skyline as we ran (or in my case walked) the course by the river, and an awesome pre-party DJ killing it on stage, I couldn’t help but think WTF to what I was seeing from other runners.
Why do people “cheat” when they run?
So the obvious point of signing up for a race is to run the entire course. I get it that some people honestly cannot finish entire races because of medical reasons, but other people, what is their excuse? Multiple times while I was running, I saw other people taking shortcuts during the course like it was nothing. Then, those “cheaters” were giving the stupid look like they didn’t know why people were yelling “cheaters” at them.
What do guys feel the need to flex?
Especially in selfies. It’s like guys don’t think we can see their muscles and feel the need to puff them out like it’s the end of the world if they’re “guns” aren’t shown.
Why are the bib numbers so big?
And also, why does everybody have hugely different numbers when they sign up together.
Why do people run with bandanas on their face?
First of all, it doesn’t look comfortable. Second of all, it’s not attractive. I don’t understand why people, especially men, feel the need to put bandanas on their face during runs as if they are in a gang or something. Like dude, you probably drive a truck, chew tobacco and get wasted to Kenny Chesney.
Why do people cover themselves in paint?
I understand it’s culturally a race thing to do, but what is the point? The paint doesn’t accentuate anything particular on a person or give them some advantage? It just gives them attention for no reason other than looking silly.
Why must people take fifty selfies?
And another one and another one. We get it, you’re running a marathon and have bright colors on and high socks.
Where the hell is the finish line?
Personally, this is my question from the very start of the race. If I can’t see it within a few minutes or there aren’t some signs saying how close I’m getting to it, then it’s all I can think about.
Why do guys always cut their shirts?
It could be to keep cool, but it also might be just to be cool and be ready for that flex moment at any time. Either way, it shouldn’t be cut unless it’s 1000000000 degrees out.
Why do people wear shit that can easily fall of while running?
Really not much to say here, you know who you are Mr. light-up, plastic glasses.
Why did I even signup?
Because I hate running, body paint, and men who flex and think it’s cool to pay to be surrounded by it all anyway.