The long distance girlfriend’s guide to sexting

They say a picture’s worth a thousand words, but that’s not always the case. Pictures and words can be just as powerful as sex, especially when you’re apart – be it for a summer vacation or living in two different cities. 

No pictures (or at least delete them!)

It may be tempting to send your bae a nude – DON’T DO IT! While many states have laws protecting against revenge porn, there is nothing to stop your sweetheart from saving it to the wrong place, sending it to their (or your!) boss or parents, or using it against you if you break up. That said, if you do send pictures, delete them – or at least hide them so friends snooping through your phone won’t find them. On top of that, words and mystery can be better than pictures – telling and not showing adds an element of surprise, description, and anticipation.

First or third person?

First person or third person? That is the question. The answer is up to you and your SO. Experiment with writing and see which one sounds better for you both.

Be open about your fantasies

If done well, sexting quickly becomes erotica. If done very well, it becomes your fantasies. Be open with your partner about making these writings reality the next time you see them.

Communicate

Be open about sexting. Did he say something that killed your buzz? Did she go too far? Is there something you’d like to try? Maintain an open line of communication during and after sexting about what went well and what didn’t – comparable to post-coital talk.

Don’t forget the texting part of ‘sexting’

You’re still in a relationship, and physical is only part of that equation. Make sure to talk about things other than sex, such as the Netflix series you’re both watching, or the video game you’re playing multiplayer together, or just about your day. Stay in love, not just lust.