We asked women with tattoos what it’s like

However terrifying some people find the idea of infusing their skin with a permanent message, I decided to get a tattoo when I began feeling the initial flickers of depression creep into my life. I needed a reminder that I was loved, and that I had so many reasons to keep going. Two years later, it has become such a part of me that I sometimes forget that it hasn’t always been there. Yet when people notice it for the first time and ask in a shocked voice whether or not my parents know about it, or what I’ll do when I go in for a job interview, I’m forced to remember that not everyone feels as nonchalant about tattoos as I do. I spoke to other women with tattoos about their own experiences, and some of the unexpected challenges they have faced.

Gendered stereotypes

Most of the women I spoke with felt that they were perceived differently than men with tattoos. Vivian Trutzl, 19, believes “a man with a tattoo is often considered more masculine, and by that rule, I feel like there is potential for people to consider me less feminine and somehow more trashy because of my tattoos.” Rachel, 20, said, “When women get tattoos it’s viewed as more of an artsy or sexy thing, while men with tattoos are viewed as tough.”

Rachel on her tattoo: “I got my tattoo last September because I’ve always wanted to get it and I finally was brave enough to do it. I also did it to mark a new phase in my life.”

Many of the women I interviewed also pointed out that there is no male equivalent of the dreaded “tramp stamp.” Amelia, 22, said, “I think in a world that largely objectifies women as uniform, universal sex objects it is more unsettling for people to see inked females than inked men. Men have always been able to have a say in how they look and present themselves, but we still live in a world where for a woman to do the same is a daily act of rebellion.”

A generational gap

There also appears to be a noticeable correlation between age and perception of tattoos. Vivian said, “The younger the person, the more accepting I’ve found them to be,” while Amelia feels that “If the world was made up of people only 30 years old and younger, I bet I would have all the tattoos I have ever thought about getting.”

Amelia on her tattoo: “I am very into spoken-word poetry and my favorite poet is Anis Mojgani. He has a poem called ‘Shake the Dust’ that I have always returned to.”

Hannah Bailey said, “The only time I feel I ever need to cover up is around my very Catholic great grandma, while my younger family members have tattoos as well.” Holly Fudge, 21, explained, “I notice that middle aged women are the ones who outwardly judge me the most, and when given the chance, tend to make some sort of comment implying that young ladies should never get tattoos.” Alex Duncan agreed that older generations “seem to more frequently put weight on the permanence of them or the idea that they will prevent one from being hired or desired.”

Alex on her tattoo: “I got my first one at age 18 and my second one at age 19. I got the tattoos just because I wanted to and thought they’d be cool to have.”

Judgment from others

While there is a generational difference in the perception of tattoos, this isn’t the only determinant of judgment from others. Hannah had to cover up her tattoos when she first started working for her current company, which has since changed its policy.

Hannah on her tattoo: “Three of my four tattoos were spontaneous. The fourth and most recent I got for my family.”

Both Holly and Amelia are worried that getting visible tattoos will affect their job prospects, and Holly said, “Sometimes people tell me there isn’t enough meaning behind my tattoo. But I firmly believe that it’s fine for someone to get a tattoo based on its artistic value.”

Holly on her tattoo: “It is the outline of a wolf with trees and mountains on the inside. I love to hike and spend time outdoors, so every time I look at it, it calms me down.”

Post-tattoo thoughts

Since getting her tattoo, Rachel admitted, “I am less judgmental of people who have a lot of tattoos… instead I think it’s super cool.” Alex said it has made her “always interested in talking to other people and asking about the stories behind their tattoos,” while almost everyone also realized that tattoos didn’t need to have some profound meaning to be worthy of wearing proudly. Vivian recounts, “When I was younger, my parents would always say, ‘I don’t know one person with a tattoo that doesn’t regret it.’ Now I know that that’s a lie, and tattooed people are some of the most laid back and happy folks out there.”

Vivian on her tattoo: “I’ve had a lot of strong women in my life–my tattoo represents femininity, strength, and always being proud of who I am and where I came from. My second tattoo is an ink pen with red ink coming out of the tip. As I kept thinking about my writing, I felt that it truly was as necessary as blood to me.”

Amelia has learned to not let others’ judgment get her down. “The main thing I took away from getting a tattoo is that it is not other people’s judgement that matters. My tattoo, my experience, my life. I think most people with ink can relate to that.” Hopefully those without ink will be able to as well.