Sex, secrets and seminars: Student escort reveals the truth behind sex work

‘Dignity is not attached to the nature of sexual experience’

compliments escort girlfriend Girls head job money prostitute sex student

The Tab spoke to a student escort about her experiences – here’s what she told us. 


I started at the end of first year second semester for no reason other than my student loan ran out, and I was planning on going home for the summer where I of course didn’t have a job. I was bored and looking through Craigslist where there were tons of posts for girls to earn “£500-£1,000” a night working as an escort. £1,000 for cumming is definitely better than working the 12am-6am shift at Krunchy Fried Chicken. I’ve always been a sexual person with a high sex drive, and thought that because I didn’t see casual sex as such a massive taboo maybe I could handle sex work.

Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 14.44.12

When I began was working with an agency, it was a lot less enjoyable and everything felt a lot seedier. It was very demanding and because money was split, there was a lot more pressure to make more money and see more people. You felt as though you had a lot less decision in who you met with, what you did and what your “rate” would be. I used to change the rates when I met with the person and keep the difference, which was probably quite dangerous as my manager at the time was a bit of a dick. Once he took me to the woods where he tested out his new AK47 on a tree. Who needs an AK47 in the suburbs? He was fucking crazy. There’s also a lot of drugs involved in certain agencies, and this can make sex work a lot more mentally damaging if you aren’t doing it for the right reasons.

Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 14.44.25

After I went back up to uni I decided to have a go at working independently, just for a couple of months to gather up some savings at first, but I started to love it. It’s definitely more stressful managing yourself and organising your advertising, especially having to filter through the less than respectful men. I did have an issue with someone who didn’t take “no” too well and began to pester me, calling me a “whore” if I didn’t reply. I had to change my number because of him and restart my profile as it got quite intense.

I also get to choose what sort of service. I offer ‘Girlfriend Experience’ (GFE), which is less about gagging and hardcore sex and more about the intimate experience. We’ll chat and have a drink before we start anything, and some guys can talk for hours. It can be quite strange talking to someone you have just met about your sexual fantasies and desires so frankly, but soon you’ll be naked in front of them, so you may as well get the awkward stuff out the way. You meet such a wide variety of great people that you’d never get the chance to meet in a regular student life and genuinely build relationships with people. Some of the most mundane seeming people harbour the most obscure fetishes,  I have a client who likes to tie me up and tickle me for an hour. I worry sometimes that I may get attached in some way and it will make it even more difficult if I want to stop working.

One of the best parts is that I get what every girl wants: a genuine review of the person I’m about to have sex with. Literally, the better websites have review sections – it’s like buying something off Amazon, and very surreal. I only meet guys who have good reviews from other girls, and they choose me based on my services and my good reviews. If only you you could get such essential info before taking home that brunette guy who saved you from slipping over in Raz juice.

Escorting technically is not illegal as you are paying for someone’s time rather than sex – I charge by the hour rather than by the act. It can be said that sex is expected but that differs between escorts and depends on the way in which you market your services. Certain website have “likes” or “preferences” sections that indicate what a girl is interested in, so you know what to expect during your “meet”.

legality

An obvious benefit is that I have a shit ton of money, but, when you can make money so easily, it’s even easier to value it less. I do try and save and put my money towards useful things that I need, like rent and hungover binges in ASDA. I am an extremely comfortable in my sexuality, so it’s great for me to be able to engage in casual sex with the concrete knowledge that neither of us expects anything more from each other.

20160223_173911

The negatives are pretty obvious. Some nights, especially when I first started, I’d lie awake at night contemplating how much I really wanted to do it and whether it was worth my “dignity”. But as I went on I realised that dignity is not attached to the nature of sexual experience. As time went on I didn’t act any differently in my personal sexual exploits, I didn’t carry myself any differently and I certainly didn’t have any less respect for myself. And that’s all that really matters. If you really have a problem with sex as a commodity you should be concerned with perfume adverts and bikinis for four year olds.

I’m too busy to be in a serious relationship, especially doing this work on top of uni (pardon the pun), but again, I worry that my extensive sexual experience will desensitise me when it comes serious relationships later in life, but all I can do is hope that my sex drive remains this high. Working in the sex industry has made me a much more secure and confident person. When your job is to meet a new person nearly every day and be intimate with them, you have to be confident not only in your appearance but personality. Some aspects you may adapt but you learn to love yourself a bit more, and obviously getting compliments like “you give life-changing head” is always helpful.

It is a very secluding profession though. I feel weary of telling my friends what I do in my spare time and how I get my money. It is different if someone who you know and like has an unfair judgment of you rather than a stranger.

You meet guys who have obviously only been with girls who have faked orgasming and have no idea where my clit and/or vagina is, so those are the less fun meets. Other negatives are really the same as any high demanding job; it is stressful and can be time consuming. Also as mentioned earlier on, you do come across some nasty men who aren’t respectful at all, and definitely do not like to hear no.

Despite the few downsides, I absolutely love sex work. I can’t think of anything better than being paid to satisfy my sex drive. When I first started, I had a time cap on how long I would continue doing it, but now I think I’ll do it through university. It won’t be a forever career but I definitely have no regrets. It’s taught me that everything is a learning curve and that some men like their nipples licked, whether they’ve realised it or not.

*All photos used are taken directly from Craigslist and the student’s online profile, except the featured image.