My cousin bought our Christmas presents at Ann Summers

This is year there were more than Christmas crackers at the table.

Receiving Ann Summers goodies would probably be considered weird in any family, but particularly so in mine.

Among the 17 of us crowded round the table for Christmas dinner was my 73-year-old ultra-catholic grandma, who until I came to university still harboured hopes that I would become a nun.

We also had a priest attend.

I had been warned that it would probably be best to open my present out of sight of my grandma, so was put in a slightly awkward position when she began insisting I show everyone my gift.

But I didn’t.

I was prepared for what to expect, as every present from my cousin since I had turned 18 had been from Ann Summers.

But my dad was somewhat less prepared.

While to us students this might not seem like a big deal, bear in mind that these were given to my secondary school headteacher dad, and banker uncles – hardly the swinger types.

My mum got the least racy present as despite looking like Samantha from Sex and the City she is the polar opposite.

There was even a gift for my little sister.

She, like my Kim Cattrall lookalike mother, also received some cheeky chocolates.

Probably for the best given that she is only 16.

This Christmas wasn’t the first time there had been Ann Summers bought gifts in my family.

But it was the first time it had been done deliberately.

Last Christmas, one of my aunties bought the women of the family (not including my grandma), what she thought were knickers saying “Merry Christmas”.

What they actually said was “Merry Sexmas”.

And after a penis shot glass last year and penis pasta this year, I’m beginning to worry about what to expect come my next birthday.

So next time you feel awkward reacting to that horrible jumper your great aunt knitted for you, be thankful that you didn’t have to almost open a penis themed gift in front of a priest.