Are these the most pointless Uber journeys ever?

Mate it’s just down the road


There are many reasons to get a barely justifiable Uber. You were drunk. It was raining. You had loads of bags. You were drunk. You’d had a shocking day. You were drunk. Perhaps you thought it was further than it was; perhaps you literally didn’t know which way was up. Because you were drunk.

But if your journey is struggling to break the 3-minute mark – drunk or not, it’s really no excuse.

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This one’s mine and I took the 3.87 minute journey from my house to my mate’s. He told me he lived around the corner and I scoffed that it must be a bit further than that. It was less than a kilometre and I’ve lived in this area for four years.

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Charley’s journey took four minutes. And if you look at the map, I reckon she could have walked a more direct route through a few side streets in half the time.

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This one took two and a half minutes and only just broke the half-mile mark. Excluding the squiggle, it is literally a straight line of about 900m up the road. When I was 14 and in my prime, I could run 800m in about two and a half minutes, so I’d basically be giving this journey a run for its money.

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The starting point and destination are the same. The journey starts and finishes within the same minute.

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There are two breakdowns here. One claims a journey of 0.03 miles that took 36 seconds. The other, claims a distance of 0.04 miles and 9 seconds. I know which one I’d rather believe, though they’re both laughable.

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This one did take a good eight minutes, but presumably only because a one-way system demanded the driver take a  more circuitous route – since the houses are only separated by a few others.

Do you have a pointless Uber journey to share? Email [email protected]