People with broken phones are always more fun

Because nothing says spontaneous like smashed glass in your thumbs


There’s something very exciting about someone with a broken phone. It’s a clear indication of someone living life on the edge,  who quite enjoys making every day a game of “guess what word is missing behind the broken glass”.

These thrill seekers are au fait with the little fragments of glass chippings that they regularly find stuck in their thumbs – no biggy.

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Every screen crack tells a story: be that the story of an attempted group selfie where the phone was less than stable in your hand, slamming your fist down onto your phone screen in protest during a heated drunken conversation, or just dropping it on the floor out of sheer excitement at watching Nancy’s attempt to revive her duck confit on Come Dine With Me.

Hooligans with broken phones often find themselves not caring about what else may happen to their phone: it’s broken already, give me your worst Apple. They act on impulse and they make spontaneous decisions, like buying a damage-proof phone case after already breaking it.

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The classic leaving your phone in your back pocket and hearing the screen break may make some people regret spending so much on lunches, but not those who frequent the EE repair station – to them, it’s a positive that there’s only one crack this time.

Phones are not as sturdy as the Nokia 3310 once proved to be – you could drop that out of a plane and it wouldn’t have a single scratch. Modern iPhones and Samsungs can be merely touched by a feather and break, so worrying too much is a waste of time.

Thus, phone breakers have a very positive outlook on life, so they’re great to have around on a night out. These are the types of people who make sure the five £1 Jägerbombs are more secure in their grip than their £500 iPhone 6. These people have their priorities straight.

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Not only are phone breakers often the more free-wheeling and fun type, they are also the most likely to have rice in their cupboard. It’s not to be consumed with a healthy salmon fillet; it’s more likely in a mug somewhere in preparation for the next time they drop it in the bath after attempting a hot-dogs-or-legs bath Snapchat.

A cracked screen, for some people, is a ruined day and a damaged bank balance, but for others it’s just another Tuesday morning and another phone call to the insurance company.

Until they kick you off your insurance policy for too many claims, of course. Who knew?