Hey Spice Girls, you should definitely have a reunion
Yo I’ll tell you what we want what we really really want
It is 20 years since the Spice Girls released Wannabe.
I think it’s still one of my favourite music videos: the girls running into a posh London hotel like gleeful teenage shoplifters, trussed up like they’ve just looted a charity shop (Geri is wearing a sequinned body, though I’m certain not one of them is wearing a wearing bra) and gyrating through the hallways, throwing menus and snogging people.
And as is customary when something approaches a milestone, people are compelled to revisit it. People have been banging on about a Spice Girls reunion since the last milestone, and apparently Baby, Sporty, Scary and Ginger have said they’re “up for it” this year, to mark the twentieth anniversary of their first single. Today The Sun reports that Posh is “warming to the idea“.
It’s probably total bullshit, of course. It’s unlikely any of them has said they’re up for it, and Victoria Beckham probably isn’t warming to the idea because I don’t think Anna Wintour and the fashion cabal thinks that the Spice Girls is cool.
And fair enough, some things are best left in the past. This does not devalue them – if anything, it can preserve the integrity of their memory. It keeps them shiny and special. And on the other hand, sometimes things shouldn’t be revisited because they were shit. When I was 14 I was in the school orchestra. Playing bad covers of the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack for my peer group is not something I’d ever want to “revisit”.
But in this case, I make an exception. Obviously, a Spice Girls reunion is exactly what we – and they – need.
Our need is simple: it would be excellent, fascinating, and give us all something to talk about, tweet about and Instagram about.
Their need is more meaningful. It’s not about money or status: they all have new, inspiring careers, probably. It’s that they’d obviously have such a good time. They’d sing a capella versions of Who Do You Think You Are; they’d cackle as they remembered that scene from Spiceworld the Movie where the bus “jumped” over Tower Bridge. One of them would say they bumped into Richard E. Grant at an event recently and didn’t everyone sort of have a thing for him? They’d all scream in agreement and then cackle again.
They’d all bring their old “costumes” and laugh about how people in the 90s used to dress, they’d remember how special it felt to be the biggest girl band in the world. They’d get really pissed and they’d Instagram a wobbly group selfie with the hashtag #girlpower. I would re-gram the shit out of that.
I just think it would make them all really happy. A reunion doesn’t mean changing the words to Wannabe, or redoing the video to Say You’ll Be There (which cannot be bested). Reminiscing about the hijinks of your youth is pure, simple fun. It reaches back to a time when things were simpler. It would basically be like Christmas Eve at the pub with all the people from school. You tell your new friends – your “London friends” – that you’re dreading it but as soon as you open the door and tread the fetid carpet, it feels a little like coming home. It activates the muscle memory and suddenly you’re hooting with laughter and flirting with that person from sixth form, again.
As I said, they all have new, inspiring careers, probably – but they never look as happy these days as they did when they were bursting into a hotel to tear some shit up.