Less than 48 hours into November and people are already getting excited about Christmas

It’s now November, which means all we’re going to hear for the next two months straight is non-stop Christmas chat. The people who eagerly cling to the one day of the year where they can feel some respite from their miserable lives are now inescapable.

But let’s be real for a second: it’s all absolutely ridiculous. Kylie Minogue turned on Oxford Street’s lights last night and thousands turned out in force. Trees and lights will be going up around the country over the next week, and then soon it’ll be those disgustingly twee adverts everyone falls in love with. One national paper has already rushed out a story on “What we know so far about this year’s John Lewis Christmas advert” and, worryingly, people are actually reading it.

They get earlier every year

All that is over a month before Christmas itself. As a nation, we have become utterly obsessed with a holiday which really isn’t that great. It’s cold, you get a couple of presents you didn’t even want, and you argue with your family while your weird uncle shouts about immigrants. That’s not something to look forward to for a week, let alone 50 days. You’re probably not even religious anyway, so don’t try and pretend that’s why you care.

We’ve all fallen for this worryingly permeating consumerist ploy which has taken a pagan-turned-pseudo-religious festival and turned it into an excuse to sell you yet more things you can’t afford. Christmas gets earlier every year because it means you have more time to shop, and by getting excited about it you’re the entire problem.

By all means, have fun on December 25th: but for now let’s keep the lights packed away, the carols unsung and quit the inane babbling about how many sleeps are left until Santa comes.