Inhaling calorie-free alcohol may be the future of student drinking – if you can afford it
Vapshot Mini is the new machine that will revolutionise pre-drinks but set you back £409
A new alcohol inhaler is set to make hangovers and the Freshers’ 15 a thing of the past.
A vapshot bypasses the liver, instead entering the bloodstream through the lungs meaning “the effects are felt almost immediately.”
Although the Vapshot only produces about 1/60th of the alcohol in a normal shot it doesn’t lessen the effect as the vapour booze takes a more “efficient” route to your bloodstream.
And another bonus is Vapshot has “near-zero calories and no hangovers” meaning not only will you be able to maintain your physique, but you’ll even make your 9am tutorial after a night on the lash.
Say hello to the Vapshot Mini, the gadget that will get you drunk from breathing vaporised alcohol.
For just £409, you can say bye-bye to chugging a dirty pint, and say hello to breathing so much alcohol that you won’t know whether to chunder or cough up a lung.
In a move that has been called “controversial” by the Mail, “awesome” by students, and “fucking moronic” by health experts, Vapshot advertises the Mini as being a system that can, to paraphrase, get you more smashed, more quickly than you have ever been in your entire life.
Having looked at the technical specs of Vapshot’s other gadgets, this is no false claim. The commercial counterpart to the Vapshot Mini can serve around 720 shots per hour, each delivering an instant hit of alcohol.
Obviously, to anyone with a modicum of common sense, this new technology sounds about as safe as getting wanked off by Edward Scissorhands. But whoever said students had common sense.
We live in a world where drinking Frosty Jacks and Kommisar Vodka, which are two fluids comparable in toxicity to a Chernobyl child’s urine, are perfectly acceptable things to do.
But despite first appearances the USA’s federal health & safety organisation, OSHA, claims that the Vapshot Mini isn’t as unsafe as it appears.
And from personal experience, regardless of the method of ingestion of alcohol – whether it be in the form of a drink, a gas, or an enema – your liver is always going to take a pounding from student drinking.
A bonus of the Vapshot Mini is it’s also highly portable, which is perfect for travelling between student abodes to kick-start pre-drinks.
Fundamentally, the student reaction to this new technology is likely be positive.
The promo video was unclear as to suggesting whether one can strawpedo the gaseous alcohol
This technology simply cuts out the bureaucracy of digestion and instead gives you an “instant hit” – getting rid of the long pre-drinks before going out.
Despite the initial £409 cost you won’t have to then spend as much getting yourself to a level of drunkenness where a club night is fun, rather than a depressing view into a Hobbesian state of nature.