How to survive Christmas day

There’s no such thing as a free meal – here’s how to survive the trials and tribulations of Christmas Day.

1. Invest in a Marker Pen


All your family have passed out from a serious food coma and now you are sat there bored. While they are asleep bring out your creative side and doodle on them. It’s sure to make sure they won’t fall asleep in your company again.

2. Voice record what you have done for the last 6 months


You will be asked the same question by every family member, family friend etc.. So instead of boring yourself and wasting your time saying the same thing, prepare and record your 6 month life story speech so you say it once and once only.

3. Download good apps


Christmas day after all the hype can end up being pretty boring. You will need to keep yourself amused as your grandparents after giving you lovely presents will not. There are lots of silly apps to keep yourself amused with and they will help the time go faster.

4. Take Pro Plus


Parents sometimes find it hard that you don’t get so enthusiastic about Christmas as you did when you were 7 and just don’t get over that. Take some Pro Plus before opening presents and it gives you a helping hand to look oh-so-enthusiastic about some pyjamas with a giant cat face on. Thanks mum.

5. Drink all the alcohol


The family when drunk are the worse, your mum getting all emotional about anything and everything, your Uncle slurring his words and repeating the same thing over and over again. Think of it as helping your family, you are taking the hangover for them and it will help you cope with getting through the day anyway.