The 10 types of A-Level Results status

Jack Hewitt
Life

How did you tell the world about your A-Level results?

Everyone remembers the nerves and tension the night before results day.

We sat primed on our UCAS results pages, hitting refresh every ten seconds and telephone in hand for clearing on the Thursday morning.

And then the refresh brought up the page instead of ‘results not released yet’. Scroll down, hope you browser doesn’t crash and BOOM! You got the grades and were going to be an fresher in September.

Then you told the world about it…

 

1. Adding unnecessary letters to the Uni’s name

extra letters

Top tip: think about how that reads/is said before giving it a go. Alternatives include using a faux-gangster name for it (Oxfizzle, Impeezy etc.)

 

2. Guess I’m moving to [insert town name here]/Just saying the city’s name

Ambiguous as to which uni though

Ambiguous as to which uni though

For some places (Manchester, Edinburgh, Leeds) it means you’re going to one place (most people will have judged you and decided which of a city’s unis you’d get into), but not for London. This leads inevitably to the ‘OMG which uni you at?’ comment from someone you went to primary school with.

 

3. Excessive use of caps lock

Hyperbole and

Lower case letters appear to be banished from these statuses.

unrelated news

A variation on this is the unnecessary-curse-word-littered status, where fucks, holy shits and the like are more commonplace than funky-tasting brownies in Amsterdam.

 

4. Ironic ‘I got into an awful uni when I’m really going to [good uni]’

rubbish uni

See above for where he’s actually going

Also a common comment type for ‘going to [insert city name]’ status where someone goes ‘what, Leeds Met?’.

 

5. Piece of good but unimportant/irrelevant news followed by ‘BTW got into…’

unrelated

So funny, witty, and original. Not.

unrelated news

They are also used for degree result statuses, which are equally devoid of any humour.

 

6. Copy & pasted UCAS confirmation

ucas

Last time you go on UCAS so make it sweet.

like a push notification but going out to the world on Facebook

Like a push notification but going out to the world on Facebook

A variation on the above is saying you’ve received a confidential, personal acceptance email from the uni.

 

7. OMG I’m going to be a [insert course name]

dr

Most often used- prematurely- by medical students. Next time you’ll see so many DR statues is when they get year results and go ‘now 1/6th/half/ Dr [surname

 

8. Excessive use of smilies

Far from the worst I've seen...

Far from the worst I’ve seen…

Obviously they’re very happy. Good for them.

 

9. Saying how well you did straight up

straight up

For the boastful. On the bright side, it means no-one has to ask you and wait for ages and ages until you tell them what grades you got and lets them gossip about you from the off. So in a way you’re doing them a service by facilitating them doing such things.

showing off much?

Showing off much?

Also works as a way of showing off about your UMS marks after AS Level results day.

 

10. Getting someone else to say how well you did

Love from the extended family... something I never received

Love from the extended family… something I never received

Proud parents/boyfriend/girlfriend/sister/relatives/mate who calls you a brainbox/Whatever. These tell people you’re a clever one, probably how well you did and lets your mum tell all her mates about it as well as it popping up on your wall (if you’re friends on fb with mammy, that is).

More annoying when someone you live with posts it on your wall instead of telling you in person.┬áThis one also comes with inevitable and cringe ‘all grown up’ comments from family friends and relatives.

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