How to do a festival on the cheap

Tip number one: Get free tickets to Reading or Leeds. We’ve got them to give away.

| UPDATED

We’ve teamed up with Reading and Leeds Festivals to give you the ultimate guide to doing a summer music festival on the cheap. And we’re giving away a pair for each festival.

To win, simply share this image on Facebook by June 28. And if you miss out, you can always get tickets here. Here’s how to do it cheaply:

Travel

National Express does cheap coaches, but the hardcore option is hitch hiking. If you’re scared you’ll be kidnapped, try super-trustworthy goCarShare. You’ll have to pay petrol money, but it beats waking up in a cold bath with both kidneys removed.

Tent

Unless you fancy one of those coffin-shaped one person tents, we recommend heading to Tesco, who are flogging temporary polyethylene homes (tents) for as little as £8. If you’re really cutting costs, Poundland have got an ’emergency’ foil prism resembling a tent for – you guessed it – £1.

Music

You can get speakers for £7, but if you’re too cheap, just put your phone in a cup or shoe and turn that into a speaker. If the crowd demands more volume, try soundSYNK, an app which lets you play music off more than one phone at once.

Booze

Head straight to your supermarket’s cider selection – the brand you’re looking for is Frosty Jacks. Beloved of urine-soaked tramps, this high strength, three litre treat packs in an impressive 22 units for as little as £2.75.

Fighting the elements

You can only afford to defend against one type of weather, so check the forecast before you go. If it’s raining, this poncho from Poundland (we’re genuinely not being paid by them for all this publicity) will do the job. In fact, it would probably stop you getting burned in the sun too, but we’d still recommend this £4 Spiderman sun cream for that.

Bodily functions

You might not be splashing the cash, but you’ll need to spend a penny. Shewees are a luxury you can’t afford, but if you need a urine receptacle while you’re waiting for Alt-J, try Powerade bottles – they have much wider tops than other bottles. Borrow loo roll from other people, and get your condoms from the welfare tent.