Introducing: Miss XXXeter

Meet our new anonymous sex columnist, Miss XXXeter.

Being an anonymous writer, introducing yourself is never easy! So I’m not going to bother.

Instead I shall share a little of myself through the medium of sex and the riveting fashion of sexuality which worms its way into every crevice of my life (and indeed my body!) and hopefully engage with you the story of my sex life on the glamorous outside, and the dirty inside.

I am a sexual creature. I thrive on enjoying myself in the bedroom. The need for lust and the passion for the contentedness achieved from the warmth of another’s body can fuel my day. It’s that niggling frustration which can divert your attention from anything, the sudden realisation that your leg is jiggling under the table and that deep fervent twinge you feel when somebody touches your hips from behind.

But why do we feel these things? Are we born with it, or do we learn it?

A study in America has shown that it depends on our upbringing. People who lack affectionate touch in their childhood are more likely to have problems with pleasurable touch and sexual behaviours in later life due to the slow destruction of the brain tissue relating to this area (pretty gutting right?!).

I seriously doubt this one applies personally to me or my crazy libido…however it’s surprising how many of us suffer. Listen up:

Women: How many times have you complained when a partner simply rolls over and doesn’t want to ‘cuddle after sex’, or noticed that they seem completely switched off and happy to return to their mates/TV/beers once they’re done?

Men: How many women haven’t been able to orgasm? Or appear absolutely uninterested in touching themselves for pleasure?

All these can be mild forms of touch deprivation.

Now, I’m no expert on the ‘no orgasm’ side of things and the ‘being uninterested in touching yourself’ doesn’t concern me at all, but girls; there seems a simple and effective way of sorting this out.

After all, in the bedroom guys love it when you touch yourself, and they want nothing more than to make you orgasm. There’s no better compliment. Learning to love being touched has to start with yourself, if you can teach yourself how you love to be touched, others can make you feel that too.

It’s a way of letting your bodyguard down; teaching your skin that touch is to be savoured and enjoyed (especially when all you have to do is lie back and let him do all the work!). What you can achieve with your own hand, he can achieve ten times better with his own.

And men: you may find that taking a bit of time out after sex to perform casual ‘after-play’ might enhance your sexual experience. It can still get you in the mood again (even when you didn’t think it feasible?).

Remember: after sex is when a girl’s body is most sensitive. You might be able to achieve new things with your hands and mouth you didn’t imagine possible, and maybe that orgasm is achievable after all…

For example, one of those things you people call ‘one-night-stands’ and I call ‘very temporary (and possibly drunkenly mistaken) arrangements’ occurred the other week.

I was getting into it, doing my thing, trying to give him a good night and suddenly it was over. That was it. He hadn’t even started to please me. So I pulled him around and started to show him what I liked. I’ve never seen anybody get back in the mood so quickly. It turned out to be one of the best first shags I’ve ever had.

You see, the route to sensitivity is to touch, and the key to great sex is to understanding your body. Partners should bounce off each other (not just literally you dirty folk) and be guided by each other.

So all you out there who find it difficult to fully appreciate touch, take time out to learn how to be touched. It might make a difference worth having.

This is just one small snippet of my experiences as a secret sex fiend. There’s many more to cum…