Why Wisconsin is better than Penn State in just about every category
Wisconsin takes on Penn State in Indiana this Saturday, but we already know who’s better
Penn State is getting scrappy with their trash talk. They’ve attacked our cheese, our capital, and our student section. This will not stand. We appreciate the concern, Penn State, but we’re not too worried about our Badger’s or how our city ranks compares to yours. We kick ass school wise, sports-wise, and success-wise, but we won’t rub it in. Just kidding, here are all the things that makes being a Badger a million times better than being a Lion.
They’re trying to throw shade on our food game with glorified cheese bread….but we’re the CHEESE STATE
The minute you start bashing cheese, we’ve got a problem. You haven’t lived until you have sunk your teeth into a squeaky cheese curd. There’s a reason we call ourselves cheese heads. Penn State likes to think they’ve got it made with something called Pokey Stix? Try some Culver’s, Lions, then we’ll talk.
Lions don’t play well outside their den, eh?
If we were to argue purely on football statistics, we’d still win. Badger’s away record is currently 4-1 which beats the Lion’s record of 3-2. The Badgers have only lost two games which seems to be the exact amount you’ve lost at away games alone. If I had a mic, it would be dropped.
“Jump Around”, enough said
If you want to get scrappy about student sections, you should probably make sure you have something meaningful to make yours stand out. Our ‘Jump Around’ tradition has been nationally recognized as one of the best student section traditions, and it is recognized on the Richter scale. Take that lions.
You’ll see Saturday how thousands of Badgers jumping to the beat of that song can leave you with motion sickness. For someone who claims to be number one, you seem to be all talk. Let’s be real. I’m not itching to be in the Lion student section, but I know you want to be in ours. BONUS POINTS: If we’re not talking bibs, I don’t want to talk.
Our tickets always sell out; fast
Both of our student sections are pretty cool places to be, but while your tickets sell out in a couple days ours sell out in about 90 minutes total. It must be nice to have all that leisurely time to get your hands on some tickets. For us, it’s waiting at a bunch of computers and potentially giving your friend your card number. When you have a game that you really want to go to, you better state a pretty good case online. Seems like a lot of people would rather be on the Badger end zone than the Lions…
State Street > Any place on Penn State’s campus
Oh, you want some gooey insomnia cookies? Do you need a pick me up before your 8am lecture? You want a cold Wisco beer before heading to Camp Randall? Oh god, you need some Badger gear and tons of options between stores? Don’t worry, State Street’s got you. Running through the middle of downtown Madison and campus, State Street is super pretty and has everything you’d need. Pray for Penn State because they don’t get one!
Two words: Watt Brothers
Does the name J.J. Watt ring a bell? If not, he’s a pretty successful (and good looking) defensive end for the Houston Texans. His alma matter, you may ask? University of Wisconsin – Madison. Derek Watt, a fullback for the San Diego Chargers also played here. What’s the significance? We still have a Watt brother that’s ready to perform on the field. As just a freshman linebacker, T.J. Watt has already been an asset to the Badgers. There’s only three brothers, Penn State. We got all of them. In this battle, you didn’t even have a chance.
Lastly, Badgers defy all odds
Courtesy of FOX Sports
We know that you’re betting against us but that seems to be when we do our best work. We’re coming off of a big win against our rivals, so you should probably be scared. It’s not our fault your inflated pride is due to a much easier schedule (seriously look it up). The only thing you really have to brag about is a win over Ohio State, which we could rival with an away win over LSU. I’m not a sports analyst or a mathematician, but you thinking you’ll beat us just doesn’t add up.
No matter what happens, I’d rather be in Wisco than Pennsylvania any day of the week. We know our school is better, but we appreciate the concern. Let’s see who walks the walk on Saturday, shall we?