Why ‘cuffing season’ is a load of crap

The thumbs of many college students are sore from swiping right, and Olive Gardens all over are seeing an increase in young couples holding hands while enjoying endless breadsticks.

As soon as the temperature starts to drop, people try their hardest to find that special someone to sweat profusely with while spooning, because there’s this idea that fall is the time to find your snuggle buddy/soul mate.

What a load of bullshit.

Don’t believe me? Let me recount the celebrity breakups we have already seen this fall: Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift (fingers crossed she writes a song about it), Brad and Angelina, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, Tobey Maguire and Jennifer Meyer, Brooklyn Beckham and Chloe Grace Moretz, Ruby Rose and Harley Gusman, you get the point.

Since we model the rest of our lives off of celebrities, our hair, our clothing, our food choices (Red Lobster has Beyonce to thank for their 33 percent  sales increase), even our decision to vote. Why not base our relationship status off of them as well?

Celebrities have taken the lead, and relationships are ending left and right. Single is the new black.

Don’t let the cold weather or your relatives annoying questions about that special someone fool you. You shouldn’t ever be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Why half pay attention to some shitty rom com with your significant other, when you could be binge watching Game of Thrones while stuffing your face with nachos? Why bring someone home to meet your extended family, when you could get drunk with your cousins and make fun of your crazy aunt?

Fishbowls are better with family

Why feign interest in some shitty EDM band, just so your lover thinks you’re cool, when you could be seeing your favorite Indie band play at the most intimate venue? Why waste your time with someone you just kind of like, when you could be hanging out with your bad self?

I think you get the point, and the list of reasons to stay single this season goes on and on.

Maybe the most convincing reason is the absolute absurdity that is settling. Settling for someone is one of the worst things you could do for yourself and your potential significant other. There is no value in being with someone just for the sake of having a snuggle buddy, that’s what body pillows are for.

The time for dates to apple orchards, winter light shows and dinners to meet the parents have come and gone. This generation may be a lot of negative things but dependent is not one. Look around, I bet you have more single friends using this time to focus on themselves than you have friends in relationships.

You have the rest of your life to send too many heart eye emojis to that special someone, so for right now spend a little time with yourself. This fall instead of finding that special someone find yourself, create yourself, and spend time hanging out with yourself and your friends.

I swear our love is completely platonic

Cuffing season does not exist, so don’t fall into the love trap.