Things that score more than State

Yesterday, we completely demolished State 107-56. After State’s whining that we were postponing the game, our free Bojangles biscuits for that over-100 score tasted even more sweet. Losing by over 50 is pretty embarrassing and scoring only 56 against your rival (not our rival) is even worse. Here’s some things we can all agree score better than State scored yesterday:

An orgo student

We all know that organic chemistry is one of the hardest classes at Carolina – and that Carolina is one of the toughest schools in the state. But somehow students score higher on their final exams about molecular constructions than state could against our basketball team.

Your six year old cousin playing HORSE

Let’s be real here, little Benny is really terrible at basketball and you know it from the one too many family barbecues you’ve attended. He loses HORSE in about five minutes. But you still think that he could go head to head with state and come out on top.

A man wearing Cargo shorts

Cargo shorts are out everyone. But lets be honest, even a twenty-five year old man wearing cargo shorts to a trendy nightclub could score more than state basketball.

A man wearing Crocs

What’s worse than cargo shorts? Crocs. State basketball is more awkward and unbearable than a pair of the worst shoes on earth.

ECU-bound students taking the SAT

Let’s be honest – even an ECU-bound student taking the SAT with no tutoring could score better than NC State did yesterday. I’ve heard signing your name gets you about 200 points on every section.

Drake

Drake is notorious for not being able to score the women he croons about in his music. But lets be honest, now that he’s with Jennifer Lopez he is scoring much more than the NC State roster. Their hotlines will not be blinging for quite some time.