I went to Shooters to start trouble with d00k students
‘So, how ’bout that football game?’
We all know Saturday’s d00k game was embarrassing for the school down the road. So I went to Shooters, the famous Durham bar, and asked some d00kies how they felt about the game. Some of my brave friends came to the 18+ bar with me to make sure I didn’t get my ass kicked.
First, a quick review of Shooters. The theme? Great. The crowd? I mean, they’re Duke students.
I’ve heard everyone ranting and raving about the dance cages. But they were only accessible from a very tall and flimsy ladder – not the move for a girl in five-inch wedges (me). Also, there’s really not too many attractive folks at Shooters, so don’t expect too much eye candy in those cages.
After inspecting the cages and mechanical bull, I began my mission. I first approached a girl who looked friendly enough.
I asked: “Hey do you go to Duke?”
She replied: “OMG, yeah. Why?”
“How’d you feel about that Carolina football game?”
Her face immediately dropped. She glared and then stepped towards me. “I wouldn’t talk about that right now. I’m really drunk.”
Note to self: don’t approach drunk d00k girls. They might try to kill you and then have their daddy bail them out of jail.
Next, I approached a dude with dreads and a “Tapout” brand wrestling shirt – the epitome of class. He said: “UNC fans belong outside.”
Note to the readers: I later stepped outside and that same boy tried to lay down the moves. Not today, d00k boy.
After running away from Tapout boy, I saw a preppy d00k guy wearing Vineyard Vines. I just knew he would have a great response, and he didn’t disappoint.
“It fucking sucked and you fucking suck. Leave.”
Afterward, I figured a nerdy boy in a button up and glasses wouldn’t be too intimidating to ask. And I was right, but mostly because he didn’t care.
“I really don’t give a shit about football so I don’t care.” Nice school spirit, dude.
I caught up with my friends, and two people had approached our group to chat. I asked for their reactions to the game, and the very drunk d00k fan said: “I wanted to kill myself.” The other friend nodded and said: “I still do.”
Naturally, the only State boy I met at Shooters offered his support, probably because Carolina was his dream school.
He said: “It was *thumbs up*.”
However, his friend had perhaps the most eloquent statement on the game all night: “Duke got their ass kicked.”
After a night of instigating and dodging d00k boys who wanted me to ride something other than Shooters’ mechanical bull, sleepy me left a silly note for myself in the morning: “Boys are lame.”