If the UCs had Tinder
Because we’re only interested in one thing
We are all just looking for some love, and our beloved UC schools are no different. But while the schooling system has the ability to promote themselves through high schools, alumni, and the sheer fact that they are one of the best school systems in the nation (or world), we have a little less sophisticated ways… like Tinder.
But what if each of the UC schools had a Tinder? Well, it would look a little something like this…would you swipe right?
“Used to be a brainiac, now I am a brainiac and also totally hipster. If you do not burn things in the name of social justice then I am not interested. My idea of a perfect date is making picketing signs. If you have low standards when it comes to attractiveness but looking for a sugar daddy with an IQ over 187, look no further.”
“Let’s ride our horses off into the sunset 🐮 ❤️”
“I hate sports, but am always looking for a new dance partner!!!! 💃🏻”
“I play tennis, volleyball, build houses for the homeless, play with the orphans, work out twice a day, the president of six different campus organizations, active in four clubs, maintain an active social life, and maintain a 4.0 GPA! You are required to keep up. If you are from USC do not even bother swiping right.”
“My claim to fame is I am friends with Michelle Obama… That’s about it.”
“I swipe right on everrrybodyyyy. Definitely not picky. I’ll take anyyyybody 👅”
UC San Diego
“I hate loud noises. Introverted. I would prefer it if you did not speak because I am trying to study. No, I do not care that there is currently an earthquake, I have a midterm tomorrow.”
UC San Francisco
Dejected younger sibling of Berkeley. Yes, I exist. Yes, I am old enough to be using this site. Please don’t swipe left.
UC Santa Cruz
“The Banana Slug is my spirit animal, man. I love trees, especially the kind you can smoke. I am an avid collector of tie dye t shirts.”
“Blonde, casual sex, Yerba Mate! Loooooves to party and must be alcohol and 4/20 friendly. Do you even surf? We may like to party, but we still beat out UCSD as part of the big three, soooo… #takethat”
While the UC system is one of the best college education systems in the world, just like anyone else, they are all a bit… Weird. But like any good relationship, those of us attending them have looked past our school’s weird ~quirks~ and *kinks* and found a mutually beneficial relationship that we all love, enjoy, and grow from. If mutually beneficially means they gain thousands of dollars off of us each year while we get overwhelmed with debt and stressed induced agony that results in a caffeine addiction and never seeing my friends and family. Still, it’s definitely the best swipe right I have ever made, and definitely the only one to end in a relationship.