What to do when you’re single at RU on Valentine’s Day
Roses are red and shit
It seems that Valentine’s Day, or as I like to call it ‘Singles Awareness Day’, has become a holiday we all just seem to tolerate. And whether you like it or not, that oh so dreaded day – Valentine’s Day – is today. So if you’re not relentlessly texting your ex or watching rom-coms with your vibrator, here is a list of some fun things happening around Rutgers today for all the single Knights out there.
Get a free dildo (or fleshlight)
Your fellow Scarlet Knight cares and wants to make sure that “nobody [is] lonely on Valentine’s Day.” That’s right, your very own cupid is coming to the rescue. All day today he will be going around campus making tons of personalized deliveries of these dildos and fleshlights. Now, this is revolutionary. Oh and ladies, did I mention he’s single.
Workout at Werblin
Did I say workout? Just kidding! I meant check out Werblin. From the elliptical, you have a perfect view of the entire gym, so you can easily check out the crowd while burning off some extra calories. This is definitely the most subtle way to check out any potential dates – who knows what will happen with all that flexing and adrenaline.
Take a flex pass class
Okay, I am serious about actually working out this time. There are so many classes to choose from – bodypump, zumba, yoga – whatever you want! Take advantage of the free flex pass and treat yourself to a great workout just in time for spring break.
Watch Fifty Shades Darker at RU Cinema
Spend this year’s V-day with Christian Grey. At least he won’t disappoint and you know he will keep you on edge. You totally want to see this on the big screen. Showtimes at RU cinema today are at 4:30pm, 7:30pm and 10:30pm.
Treat yourself to Thomas Sweets
Why wait for someone else to buy you chocolate and flowers when you can treat yourself? Buy some cookie tins or some homemade chocolate dipped strawberries – believe me, you won’t regret it. You can even get it delivered to surprise yourself.
Don’t forget about Cookie Rush
In addition to their sumptuous cookies, Cookie Rush is also a great place to get chocolate dipped strawberries. I mean, just look at those gold sprinkles! So why not choose both? You deserve this after your hard workout.
Pick up roses at The Yard
Treat yourself to beautiful roses at the pop-up flower shop at The Yard from 11am – 5pm and support Rutgers Dance Marathon. Or buy extra to surprise your gals and bros, and it will be a sweet gesture they will never forget. $2 for one, $3 for two, or $15 for a dozen. It’s For The Kids!
Indulge in fondue at one of the dining halls
Being a college student means being on a budget, so this the perfect alternative to making any purchases. From 4 p.m. – 9 p.m., all dining halls will be hosting their annual “Chocolate Fantasy”. They will have fondue, strawberries, cheesecake, candies, and did I mention chocolate fondue? This is definitely worth the meal swipe.
LOL at Scott Hall’s stand-up night
Who said you can’t have fun when you’re single? If you’re into comedy, come join the College Avenue players at Scott Hall 135 at 9:45pm. There will also be an open mic portion where you can try out some of these Rutgers pickup lines. You are bound to get some great responses with these one liners.
Go out with your besties
$2 Tuesdays ftw! If that doesn’t work, forget absolutely everything I said. Who needs a date to go out? Grab all your friends and get wild tonight. Do not let the weather stop you from having a crazy night out. Why else would Valentine’s Day fall on Tuesday this year? It was meant to be.