Princeton Yik Yak is a desperate, appalling, sex-crazed Craigslist over break
But the Orange Bubble also bands together to find drugs
Whether or not you’re on campus for Fall Break (though you most likely left once your Princetoween hangover wore off) you know campus is empty…like post apocalyptic empty.
Leaving Princeton for the week, I almost got this feeling that the Orange Bubble doesn’t really exist when we’re not there, but Yik Yak proved me wrong. Sort of like the old “if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it really make a sound?” Well, if straggling students are left on campus with no one around to entertain them…apparently they vent out their desperation and boredom on Yik Yak.
As suitors on Tinder leave the Princeton radius, survivors seem to turn to Yik Yak in an attempt to, shall we say, seek company for this lonely week:
That no-one replied should not be taken as a sign all those left on campus are men. There are definitely still girls, but no, they do not want your “oral pleasure.” On behalf of all women, I thank you for your generosity, and kindly decline your offer.
So I’m not really sure if the question or the responses to this confuse me more. I feel like this yakker is offering up a lot to the left-over Princeton community, and the remaining students are actually picking up what he’s putting down.
If you haven’t picked up on the theme, Princeton becomes like strip club during the day: populated by a surprisingly high number of people who are unsurprisingly desperate and horny. In response to this yakker, if you are in Firestone over fall break you seem to be screwing yourself pretty well.
Our medical diagnosis is extreme isolation due to fall break. This is why everyone needs to get out of the bubble when they can.
The replies to this one couldn’t load, but let’s just assume the answer is no. You would probably have better luck on Chatroulette, though your chances of getting catfished are through the roof.
Just a quick reminder that many consider this to be the most elite academic institution in the world.
This one got us emotional.
In these dark times of Fall Break loneliness, students nevertheless band together and lend a helping hand.
In the words of Albus Dumbledore, “help will always be given at [Princeton] to those who ask for it.” Though not a pastime my mother would approve of, this dude is honestly finding a better way to spend his fall break than getting “hatefucked.”
Though I still believe Princeton doesn’t exist when I’m not there, I guess it does make me happy to know the Street stays lit even in these dark times.
We were relieved to find a few normal Yaks about fall break sprinkled in here and there.
We were right to compare Princeton’s campus on Fall Break to Lost, especially since “The Others” might come flocking in from the actual town of Princeton. I also anxiously await the Yik Yak reports on Friday or Saturday as to how this meeting of anonymous Yik Yak fiends went down.
All in all, nothing sums up Princeton Yak over fall break quite like the following: