How to be there for someone with a mental illness

From October 2^nd through October 8^th, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) sponsored Mental Illness Awareness Week. In honor of October 10th, World Mental Health Day, light needs to be shed on a very important issue: how to support someone with a mental illness, even if you’ve never been personally afflicted with one.

Whether it’s depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, addiction, or anything else within the spectrum, mental illnesses can be extremely inhibiting to those who are affected. If you are personally afflicted with a mental illness, know that help is available. Reach out to those who support you, be it your friends, family, teachers or even coworkers.

If you have never been personally affected by a mental illness, it can be all too easy to tell someone that it’s “in their head” and they just “need to be more positive.” While a mental illness may literally be in a person’s head (i.e. in their brain), that does not lessen the severity. If you have never been directly affected by a mental illness, it’s understandable that you may find them a little daunting and and feel like you are unable to support your loved one. With that being said, it’s important that you take the steps you can to understand that particular disease a little better in order to effectively be there for them. Here’s what you can do:

Understand what the disease is

If someone trusts you enough to tell you they are suffering from an illness, and more specifically the exact illness they are suffering from, you need to understand that particular disease as much as you can. There are plenty of resources to help with this. A great one can be found here.

Let them know you are there

As obvious as this may sound, a simple “I’m here for you if you ever need to talk” can go a long way. It opens up the possibility for your loved one to discuss their experiences with you, and more importantly, it shows your loved one that they have an immediate support system.

Know when to listen

You don’t always need to bring up the person’s illness or do things to try to make them happy. Sometimes, simply listening when your loved one needs you to, can speak volumes all on its own.

Treat them as normally as possible

While it’s great to let your loved one know they have your unwavering support, constantly bombarding them with questions like “Are you okay?” or “Do you need to talk?” can push them away. While your intentions may be pure, treating someone as though they are not normal because they have a mental disorder may cause them to withdraw further into themselves. Their condition can worsen as a result, so it’s important you treat them no differently than you did before you knew about their affliction.

Know when to get help for them yourself

Intervening with a mental disorder can be extremely messy: you don’t want your friend or family member to be mad at you, but at the same time, you want to know they are safe and okay. While you should save calling 911 for emergency circumstances only, it is always better to be on the safe side. If you truly feel as if your loved one may hurt themselves or others, calling for help may be your only option. You have to worry more about their safety than whether or not they will be mad at you. Forgiveness will come with time. You do not want to ignore a situation in fear you will upset them, only to find they did something drastic. Safety first, always.

During this week, take some time to understand mental illnesses a little more. Read up on NAMI here. Having some knowledge and a basic understanding of mental health may just save a loved one’s life.