Every type of roommate you’ll have at Penn State

Regardless of what year you are, at one point or another, you’ve had a roommate – unless you’re that one kid who somehow managed to snag a single room (which by the way, no one likes you). Roommates can be good or bad and some can go on to become your best friend while others will leave you wishing that they never entered this world.

Here is every type of roommate you will run into during your years at Penn State:

The Helicopter

Some students cherish their time away at college because it is an escape from the tight grip of their parents. The worst feeling is leaving a dictatorship at home, and entering one in your dorm room. The Helicopter Roommate is the one who is constantly asking when you will be home, why you are going out so much, what clothes you should be wearing – the list goes on and on. They hover over your life, almost like mom and dad hired them to be an unruly pain in the ass.

The Sexiler

Whether you or a friend is a victim of this roommate, everyone eventually hears about him or her. This dormmate is the one who parties all night at the frats and constantly brings back one-night stands, asking you to sleep out at least three nights a week. At this point, your room feels like more of a rare, luxury resort and less of like East Halls. Is it so much to ask to let me sleep in my own bed?

The Bacteria Farmer

In this case, a disgusting roommate will just about make you clinically insane. We can all be a little messy now and then, and it seems okay when we do it, but if it’s anyone else, that’ll make you go crazy. If you can smell your room from down the hallway and your friends start demanding bio-hazard suits whenever you tell them to swing by, you may need to reevaluate your living situation. The Bacteria Farmer is the worst because they’re completely content in their own dirty little bubble with you as both the cleaner and the victim.

The Antichrist

This one is not your friend, not your acquaintance, not even your roommate. They are your nightmare, except that instead of happening when you sleep, they happen when you wake up. The Antichrist will subtweet like it’s their job, make up stories about you to their friends and family, and create more beef than Ken’s Best Wurst hotdogs across from The Den. Don’t rely on them to offer any favors as you will truly be all on your own for this year. And as much as this individual seems to be a curse on the world itself, you’re left praying they somehow manage to get a boyfriend or girlfriend that can at least give you a break once in a while.

The Saint

Your now best friend. Sometimes people can be fortunate enough to get a genuinely fantastic roommate. Many of those sets become friends for life and act as each other’s guardians all throughout college. You’ll immediately recognize this person as someone willing to cooperate, help clean up a little, and maybe even help with homework when your stress is back-breaking. Overall, even though the roommate game is a gamble, sometimes things just work out.

And finally…

The “How Did You Survive 18 Years of Life?”

Sometimes you meet people who need some extra help with things, people who need a little hand, or even people that just need a piece of advice to get past an issue. But other times, you’ll meet someone who is completely clueless on how to survive in this world and there are times when that someone will be your roommate. Unfortunately, you will be spoon feeding this individual lessons on life for the next ten months. You’ll be held responsible for a grueling amount of care, anywhere from demonstrating how to do laundry to showing them how to use the microwave. You didn’t know coming to college meant becoming a parent to a teenager, too. Although this roommate can put a toll on your mental health every time they ask why their computer isn’t working (maybe the flashing battery sign has something to do with it), in the end it will make you feel much more responsible, I guess.

Moral of the story: not all roommates are bad, but then again, not all beer is alcoholic.