‘Puck Frinceton’
Princeton where you at?
Dear Princeton,
We can’t wait to see you this weekend!
Congrats Princeton, it’s homecoming, which is probably the first time you’re going out this month.
We took a shot in your honor because we know you’re stuck with cheap, warm beer. Interesting how your second tab article is named “Princeton Yik Yak desperate terrifying sex crazed Craigslist over break.”
Can’t say we’re surprised. There’s not many fish in the middle of nowhere New Jersey, are there?It’s funny that you’re in Dirty Jersey when you’re not “dirty” at all.
Stick to your Vineyard Vines and lawn parties, kids. I mean, their Tab did self-acclaim Princeton as “the whitest Ivy.”
We’d also like to thank The Tab Princeton for insulting themselves so we don’t have to. Case and point,”Princeton over fall break is a ghost town”? Fall break doesn’t last all year, honey.
And while The Tab Princeton doesn’t lie, snapchat clearly does. Maybe Princeton will do it better when they’ll respect themselves enough to serve more than their pomposity at eating club parties.
Until then, don’t worry Princeton edition, we’d understand if you wanted to tap out before Saturday, but we have to say we’d love to have you bask in our superiority.
(preferably not in that ghastly school color of yours)
Even though half of us were deferred from Princeton, we’re not bitter. At all.
See you tomorrow!
Much love,