Christmas is an attention whore
Stop undermining Thanksgiving
November is wrapping up and there are two types of people who exist at this time:
- Those who play Mariah Carey’s Christmas album on repeat
- Those whose ears bleed at the sound of Mariah Carey’s Christmas album on repeat
A prime example of the Mariah-Carey-fanatic is my friend Bethanni. If you see her on campus and you hate early holiday celebrations, run. She already has her tree decorated:
I almost hesitated to ask her about her favorite holiday because I knew that meant I’d have to pretend to listen for fifteen minutes. Not only is she ecstatic about seasonal sweaters, she can’t wait to show off her Christmas lights which are probably a fire hazard.
Before she could finish informing me of the best holiday cookies for a gluten-free gathering (we were in a nutrition class, to be fair) our friend Elizabeth turned around and glared. Half relieved, I was like “omg what is wrong with you girl,” and Bethanni looked as if someone had opened her presents on Christmas morning.
“I love Jesus, but I hate Christmas,” Elizabeth interrupted. At first I thought “but wait that definitely doesn’t make sense—like, maybe the other way around?” though I decided not to argue.
She claims everyone is crazy during the holiday season and visualized her disgust of Bethanni’s light decorations with multiple eye rolls. She also overheard me talking about the Christmas aisles in Target because she mentioned how a corporate company shouldn’t commercialize the holiday.
I fall in the middle of this weird spectrum. I don’t HATE Christmas… but I LOVE Thanksgiving and understand what it is like to be left out. (Shout-out elementary school)
Being a middle child, I understand the feelings you are experiencing. Halloween is your little slut sister who can never keep her hair color for longer than a month, and Christmas is your brother (also known as the first-grandchild-ever) who still lives in the basement of your parents’ house. Where are you? Forgotten. Probably still in the grocery store because your mom left you.
I went to Target today, as I usually do. I was immediately bombarded with Christmas decorations. The automatic door even had a Christmas tree on it. Hand soap goes straight from “Pumpkin Spice” to “Santa’s Sleigh Balls,” I mean Sleigh Bells. I’m not happy about it. No one is happy about it, except for those people who literally can’t even.
I am bummed for you. For us.
I mean, yeah… they’re cute.
Okay. MAYBE I bought some cute Christmas decor. But I also bought some cinnamon rolls… dang.
I apologize.
Do you have a holiday preference?
Be sure to like our Facebook page here.