Revealed: Stern and Kimmel are NYU’s cocaine hotspots
Where to find coke on campus
NYU’s suited finance majors and future fashion icons don’t have much in common, but they do often share a love for the coca.
But, ask yourself – where on campus would you expect such illegal activity?
The answers from (respectable, non-snorting) friends jumped between Bobst and Stern. So, with clearly too much time on our hands, we set out to test various areas of NYU for cocaine residue using this cocaine testing kit.
The test: if the red paper shows any traces of blue there is cocaine residue.
Bobst
We began in Bobst.
Somehow, this is where most people imagined drugs would be taken. The 24-hour lower levels seemed like a potential cocaine hotspot – but to no avail.
We changed tack and ventured up to the ninth floor, a place so grim and deserted that only the most dedicated would ever choose to work here.
But sadly, no coke.
Neither on the fourth or the fifth floor.
All we found was the perfect setting for a horror film/potential murder.
Stern
We’ve all seen Wolf of Wall Street, and more importantly, we’ve all seen the Stern kids who think they’re Jordan Belfort.
We were not disappointed. Someone had clearly been doing lines in the lower levels.
Even more around the computer areas.
A face of shock:
Having had enough of the frankly depressing Stern common areas, we fled for the outdoors.
Washington Square Park
In place of a quad, we swabbed a few benches – but nada.
Kimmel
To be perfectly honest, I thought Kimmel was a long shot.
However, it turned out to be far more popular than expected.
The 7th floor:
Some wild kids had even used the chess box:
So the conclusion: not only do NYU students do drugs, some are that desperate to snort cocaine they’ll do it in Kimmel.
That, and NYU desperately needs a good clean.