Best places to poop on campus
Where to step out and take that call from Mother Nature
Among the daunting fears of leaving home to go to college, there’s one thing no prep book or orientation speech can prepare you for.
What are we supposed to do about the fact that every single bathroom is public?
When I first came to school I loved exploring campus: finding the best places to study, seeing what was inside of that one shiny building by the river, etc…what I ended up truly discovering was a wealth of information about the toilets on campus.
Whether you’re looking for selfie lighting, privacy, or location, I’ve got you covered.
Adler Journalism Building
Built in 2005, AJB is one of my favorite buildings on campus, and not just because I always hear Trey Songz say “ay JB, what’s the word out on the street?” every time I look at it.
Ok, that might be why.
But they also have some of the most modern bathrooms on campus.
10 out of 10 would recommend.
Blank Honors Center
I don’t know if honors kids are too stressed to poop, or if they just don’t have the time, but these bathrooms are always empty and super clean in my experience.
I only hope that the poor souls who have to eat Burge’s food don’t discover and contaminate it.
This must be how the smart kids do it.
Iowa Memorial Union
The IMU is pretty updated in general, but the ground floor was just opened this year – so if you’re one for the more modern touches, head down stairs right by Hills Bank (although I have it on good measure that a couple was hooking up in one of the stalls this Wednesday).
When you see it
If you don’t mind a strange set up and the smell of baby powder, the bathroom in the lobby of the Iowa House Hotel has great natural lighting.
Mirror selfie central.
I filtered
Van Allen third floor
Ok, the stalls are actually really short, one doesn’t lock, and there’s only one super old hand drier. But the color pallet is super pleasant and they have this fake granite that’s so sharp I was able to take a selfie in it.
Aesthetics have to count for something!
The colors really compliment each other.
Who needs a mirror when you can take a stall selfie?
Any pod style bathroom
The pod style bathrooms, with a shower sink and bathroom all to yourself behind a locked door, can not be beat. Unless you live in one of these buildings though, they’re not easy to get to.
Some go the extra mile for the privacy and cleanliness though: Ryan Leparski, Freshman, walks from Currier to Stanley to use their pod bathrooms. Apparently it only takes 5 minutes, so why not.
He said: “Sometimes people in my wing don’t flush the toilets…and there is the occasional vomit basically anywhere on weekends.
“I like the pod mostly because of the privacy and it always just seems cleaner than the standard bathrooms.”
The sink
Okay let me clarify: I have not heard about anyone pooping in the sink (yet)- but number one is a different matter. Sometimes boys really have it easy, like Jeremy Swiatek, a freshman in Hillcrest.
He said: “I pee in my sink every fucking day. It’s the most convenient thing ever.”
A toilet
At the end of the day we are all human and college is stressful enough without having to worry about going to the bathroom.
So here’s to accepting each others basic bodily functions and hoping that talking about poop doesn’t flush my journalistic propriety down the drain (pun always intended).