Why bother going to an Ivy? Georgetown is better in every single way

Georgetown may not have made the Ivy League ranking, but the university definitely offers a college experience like no other. Besides, everyone knows that the only reason why we are not an Ivy is because we have always been a Jesuit university (duh). And who needs labels nowadays anyways? Especially when you are located in DC, live on a breathtaking campus and can flaunt an alumni list as impressive as this one.

Location, Location, Location

Whether you are studying Politics, Art History or Business, it goes without saying that the nation’s capital is your playground. You’ve probably walked past the White House a dozen times, seen the big O’s secret service team speed down M Street and spotted Bill Clinton at Tombs. DC’s bipolar weather also means that you can expect snow days or tanning sessions on Healy lawn all year round.

Harry Potter would envy our campus

As if magically secluded from the hustle of Washington DC, our very own Hogwarts campus is located in the preppiest of preppy neighborhoods (that not even the Metro is allowed to reach), fully equipped with Vineyard Vines and Brooks Brothers. No class on campus will take you more than a 15-minute walk, so you’re technically only allowed to complain if you’re hiking up to the MSB. If you’re lucky enough, you may spot a few resident Jesuits magically gliding in their golf carts. Architecturally, even our beloved Lauinger library is a globally renowned building known for it’s Brutalist design (you can at least give them credit for nailing the art period name).

We have a living mascot

And it’s a dog called Jack the Bulldog– who can skateboard. Our university is even so kind as to replace it with a newer, younger version when the current one gets old and less able to skateboard.

Team spirit

There’s a reason why Hoyas wear Georgetown gear head-to-toe (even those who have never joined a sports team), and it’s not bad taste in clothing. There’s also a reason why the best party of the year is named after our university and takes place on our very own campus at the end of April. There’s a reason why we banned all orange food on campus before the Syracuse game. No one does team spirit like Georgetown.

Big Brains

Our brains are so big, that we simply could not pick one language to stick to for our chant. Our fusion of Greek and Latin (“Hoya Saxa”) is mere proof of our intellectual capabilities. Perhaps it’s the “wholeness” of the Jesuit education that forced you to excel in every field, even the Calc and Philosophy that you almost failed freshman year. Did you know that the Corp, that caters to your midnight munchies and finals caffeine overdoes, is also the largest entirely student-run non-profit in the world? Legends.

Alumni network of VIPs and Royalty
Not only does our university attract the top of the top, it also breeds a myriad of diversely talented individuals. From Bradley Cooper to King Abdullah II of Jordan to Bill Clinton, whose wife we’ve all proudly waited five hours in line to hear speak. Not only is our alumni network ranked the 14th most powerful in the nation, we are also the 24th most employable college. It’s safe to say that if we joined forces with current and ex-Hoyas, we would probably rule the world (and be a very good-looking bunch too).

And don’t forget President Underwood

We have the hottest college guys in the country

Speaking of good-looking, it’s no secret and no hypothesis that Georgetown boasts the hottest college guys in the nation. In a study last year, Tinder measured the number of right swipes per school and placed Hoya hunks at number one. It’s either that, or our girls are a very generous bunch.